I look back to Ben. His arms were big and his tummy toned, there were a few scars here are there. He was a fighter. He was someone who could look after themselves, and look at me, clinging onto him for dear life. Me, I'm a coward. Always been a cowa...
This question was swirling around my head as I listened to the shower go. I was fumbling with Bens sheets in my fingers, my temple has since stopped tingling. I began to think of all the things that have happened in the last couple of weeks. He was there when I woke up in the hospital the first night, holding my hand. He gave me his hoodies to wear. His smell calms me down. He said he would do anything for me and now this. This kiss.
Surely not. I stare down at the blankets frowning. I mean if I am his mate than why hasn't he said anything. Also, why am I just putting two and two together now. We have been in the same house for 4 weeks.
No, it can't be. When Penny told me about her and Chase she said she knew instantly. As soon as she turned 18 and she locked eyes with him her entire world flipped. It was like he was all she saw. (for real though shout out to that one episode of Himym, s8 e14, legit so cute. That song is linked above, give it a listen, melts my heart.) There wasn't a doubt in her mind. Also, why hasn't he said anything????
No, he's just being nice. I guess I'm just not used to it. Yea that's it, he's nice to everyone. My heart clenches at this.
While I was thinking I didn't notice the shower turn off until the bathroom door opened and Ben walked out with a towel wrapped around his hips. He looked up and saw me.
"Oh, you're up" He said, walking quickly over to his cabinet and grabbing out a shirt and pulling it over his head. I was speechless for a second, I just watched as his shoulder muscles flex. He gathered up a few more things from his draws and turned back around. I looked down into his hands and saw sweats and undies. Realization hit me and so I quickly brought my hands up to cover my eyes.
"Sorry" I squeaked.
I heard a soft giggle and after some shuffling heard, "Okay I'm done".
I opened my eyes to see him standing there fully clothed his towel draped over the back of his chair. He was looking at me, I couldn't make out the expression. I tucked a bit of hair behind my hair and looked down at my hands.
I suddenly remembered what I wanted to ask him.
"Can you..."
"What do..."
We both started at once, I looked up at him. "I'm sorry" we both said in unison. He smiled and ran his hand behind his neck. "No, you go first" He says with a smile.
"Okay um..." I began hesitatingly looking around the room, frowning I realize how weak I look. I cough, straighten up my posture and look him right in the eyes. "Can you teach me how to fight?"
His smile turned to a frown. His lips parted. "What" he breathed.
I took a deep breath and tried again. "I want you to teach me how to defend myself"
Hi frown deepened and he looked at me in disbelief. "I... wha...you... against what?" He stammered out.
I paused, he was getting upset. I didn't want him to be upset, but I knew I had to do this. "Against anything... wolves, people... Marcus" I looked down. Feeling my chest tighten.
"Marcus" Ben repeated. I shivered at the name. My heavy breathing was the only thing you could hear.
"Blaire" Ben said after a moment, I looked up into his eyes. "Is he..." Ben paused. "Is he the one..." Ben trailed off looking straight into my eyes. I nodded, understanding what he was getting at. Ben shook his head.
"No" Ben said firmly.
I frowned, "No what?"
"No, I won't teach you to fight because you're not going to fight him, I'm not going to let that happen" Ben says huffing.
I sigh and look down at my hands again. "I don't think it is up to you" I whispered.
"Blaire. I can protect you, I will protect you." He said stepping closer to me.
I looked up at him, feeling that same sense of determination, I felt this morning. "I don't want you to protect me" I argued back "I want to protect myself. For as long as I can remember I felt...useless. I don't want to feel that way anymore."
"Blaire, I didn't mean to..." Ben said looking solemnly at me.
"I know you didn't mean anything by it" I reassured him "and I know you can protect me but... what if you're not there."
Silence surrounded us as we stared into each other's eyes. I saw Ben frowning and clenching his teeth. Time passed slowly, I watched his mouth open and close a couple times, wanting to say something but rethinking his decision each time. I remained eye contact, wanting to show him how serious I was about this, that I was going to learn how to fight. If not with him than with someone else, ill teach myself if I have too.
Ben breaks eye contact first. He lets out a sigh and runs his hands over his face. Through his fingers he says, "I just don't want you to get hurt"
His words linger in the air for a second before I respond.
"Neither do I, not anymore" Looking down at my hands, willing myself to be strong.
Than after another sigh from him I hear. "okay, but ill teach you. Only me" I look up startled. He is looking at me sadly. Jumping up off the bed I wrap my hands around his neck standing on my tip toes to get to his level for a hug. "Thank you thank you thank you" I repeat in his ear. His hands hang in the air around my waist but soon enclosed around me. "Your welcome" He says softly.
********************
There you have it, another chapter done and done.
Btw the way exciting news I have decided who I want as Ben. So, without further or ado...
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Absolute hunk. Also, super friggin cute, all my How to Get Away with Murder fans know what I'm talking about.
Still not sure who Chase is going to be, so suggestions are welcome.
