The Beta's Broken Mate

Chapter 21 - Blaire

I lay in my bed wide awake. He's coming again, I squeeze my eyes shut trying to stop those images coming into my head. After Ben told me I blanked out. I remember sinking to my knees, Ben sinking with me talking to me but I couldn't hear a thing, my hand covered my mouth to stop any gasps or cries come out but nothing came. No tears came either I just felt so terrified and hopeless. The rest of the day I saw everyone try to comfort me but nothing helped. There was nothing they could do, if he was coming after me he was going to get me.

They assigned a guard to me for the night, they said he would protect me, I wanted to believe them.  I really did, it would help if I did.

I heard my door open slightly and a voice come from the other side. "You okay in there Blaire?"

"Yes" I responded to the guard. He checks in on my ever now and then. I rolled over to my side and grabbed a pillow and gripped it tightly tucking my face into it. I am exhausted but I cannot go to sleep. I have tried to shut my eyes but as soon as I am about to fall I see his laughing face and jolt awake pushing back into my bed frame clutching my knees to my chest. So now I just lay here.

My hoodie is up over my head, or I guess it's not exactly mine. I know its Bens, I'm not and idiot I can pick out his smell anywhere. Ben. I look over at my door and think of Ben just beyond it in his own bed. I frown appears on my face, he terrifies me aswell.

Not because I think he's going to hurt me, but because I can't help but want him. I need him. I don't want to be alone tonight. My brain is telling me to stay put but with him around everything else doesn't seem so bad.

'I'll do anything for you'

I ponder these words. For 30 minutes, I lay in bed tossing and turning. Finally conjuring all the courage I have and get out of bed. I walk to my door open it to see the guard standing there in a black t shirt, muscles bulging.

"Blaire? Are you okay" He says looking over my shoulder to see if there was anything in my room.

I felt a blush begin to appear on my face, "No I'm just, I was just......" I look up at Bens door trying to think of a good way to phrase it. The guard looks towards his door and understands, he moves across the hall so he is standing next to Bens door now, looking down smiling he makes a quick inwards laugh, blowing air out of his nose. I look back at him in confusion, "What" I ask.

He looks up at me with a sincere smile, "Your just...." He looks back at Bens door. "You're just going to make him one happy man."

I look back shocked, does he think.... I open my mouth to object but he cuts me off.

"Oh no, not like that just I think you're going to help him sleep as much as he is going to help you."

"oh" I say back lamely not really sure how I would make Ben sleep. I look back towards the door and held my fist up to the door. Giving the guard one last confused look, I knocked gently on the door than after a faint "Yes" I am stepping into Bens room the smell hits me all at once. I let my eyes adjust to the dark room than look towards the bed, my heart stops. Ben is sat up in his bed, shirtless, his sheets pool around his waist.

I mumbled out a couple starts to sentence trying to look anywhere but him.

"Are you alright?" He asks sitting more up right letting the blankets fall lower down onto his lap. I saw the top of his sweats dangerously low on his hips. I suck in a breath, my cheeks going an even darker shade of red. I can't help it, why is he making me react like this. I think about turning around and running out, but the thought of going back into my cold room alone gave me the shivers.

"Okay so you said that you'll do anything for me and well.... I'm not trying to push you into something... you can say no. or whatever. I just thought that maybe.... I don't know I just feel umm...." What the hell am I doing, I look at Bens confused face. His cute little eyebrows raised as if trying to decipher what I am saying. I huff than close my eyes, wanting to just rip the band aid off. "Can I sleep here tonight?"

Silence fills the room. I can practically hear my heartbeat quicken. Omg what am I doing. Of course, he doesn't want to have you in his bed, he was just being nice when he said he would do anything for you.

"in my bed?" I hear Ben asks, "Yes" I say confidently thinking he might be offering but when I look at him I see a shocked look on his face. Oh no, I look towards the ground at my toes. People don't just sleep in other people's bed, you idiot you should have just stayed in your own bed and dealt with it alone. "If you want?" I quickly say giving him an out. 

"It's okay" I hear him say right after my question. It's okay I repeat in my head making sure I heard that right. I look at him than before he changes his mind scurrie across the room to the other side of the bed. I crawl under his covers and pull them right up to my nose. I just about melt, the smell instantly hits me and I calm right down. I see out of the corner of my eye Ben lay down too.

I'm in Bens bed.

I move my head slowly so I can look over at him. His eyes are shut and a cute frown is on his face, his chest is heaving up and down quite quickly. I look away, but before I can over think that my eyes droop shut and I fall asleep.

***

The rain woke me up. I have been listening to it for about 10 minutes now. When I first woke up I had a brief panic attack, I was pressed against someone's side, his arm was under my head and his other hand was holding mine which was above his chest. I wriggled back and slid my hand out from under his, I began tugged at the sheets wrapped around my legs when I looked up to see who I was with. I relaxed quickly when I see Bens face, his eyes were closed and his mouth was parted. Than in the morning haze and without thinking too much of it I crawled back over to him and softly lay my head back down on his arm and slid my hand under his.

Watching the rain hit the window I let my mind wander but no matter how hard I tried to block Marcus from my mind, I couldn't. He kept stabbing his way back in. He was coming for me and there was nothing no one could do to stop him. They don't know him like I do. He's smart, unpredictable and gets what he wants.

I shiver and snuggle closer to my heat source. I look down at my hand clasped in Bens. His big rough hands engulf my own. So, tiny and fragile, it is as if one squeeze could shatter all my bones. My arms legs and body was the same. Everything about me was weak.

I look back to Ben. His arms were big and his tummy toned, there were a few scars here are there. He was a fighter. He was someone who could look after themselves, and look at me, clinging onto him for dear life. Me, I'm a coward. Always been a coward.

I'm done. 

As soon as I think these words I feel myself fill with determination.

I'm done being scared, I'm done giving up. When Marcus comes, I'm going to be ready. I'm going to fight him, and if he gets me again I will never stop trying to get away from him. I mean what more could he do to me.  I was going to need to learn and train.  Whatever it takes.  No one will ever hurt me again.

I hear Ben take a big breath and stir next to me so I close my eyes and pretend to be sleeping. Something about him waking up to me awake and purposefully snuggling into him makes me nervous. What if he thought it was weird. I feel his head move around. I stay still, trying desperately to keep my breathing even. We lay there for a couple more minutes until I feel him slowly remove himself from next to me. Well it was good while it lasted.

Once he is out of the bed I hear his stretch up. The blankets shift and I feel them getting tucked in around me, then soft lips kiss my temple. I thankfully hear him walk away and go into his bathroom before he sees the blush that fills my cheeks. Once I hear the shower turn on I reopen my eyes. I reach up to the place where he kissed me and trace it. It tingles. Not a lot but enough for me to notice. I frown and sit up.

What if......

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