Not only was I utterly shocked that I was the one to pull Katie in for a hug, but I was also shocked by how familiar it felt. I thought all this time that this encounter would feel forced, foreign. But, it all feels right.
"I know this is possibly the dumbest question I could ask you, but how are you?" She asks me. I think about it. I genuinely think about how I will answer. I don't want a repeat from yesterday, where I spill out my heart to her, but I can't lie to her, either.
"I've been better." I say, careful not to divulge the entire truth.
She opens the door and motions for me to go ahead. As I step inside, I'm overwhelmed by the strong aroma of coffee and the loud chatter coming from everyone in the cafe. No one seems to notice us, yet. The baristas are busy taking orders and making drinks. I never thought five years ago that a coffee shop would be the new scene for anyone and everyone.
I feel Katie's hand brush against my back, as she ushers me to the counter. I try not to shutter at her touch, but she got the message. I immediately feel bad and am debating whether to apologize or not, but the barista interrupts my thoughts, before I can say anything. I order what my usual is, or what my usual was. I still don't know myself. Will I like the drink? Do I even still drink coffee products?
Soon the two of us are sitting down at a table near the back of the shop. I was thankful Katie picked this spot, as it is much quieter than it is towards the front. I can't seem to concentrate, with so much going on around me, so I silently thank her in my head.
I didn't realize how awkward this would be. I surely hoped it wouldn't be like this, but the two of us aren't speaking. Katie is looking down at her coffee, like she has something to say, but she dare not speak to me. I obviously don't want to be the one to initiate the conversation, either, as I know nothing about her.
Thankfully, Katie speaks up.
"What have you been up to?" She asks me nonchalantly. I try not to roll my eyes at her question, knowing that she has good intentions, but she cannot seem to ask any proper questions.
"Oh, nothing really. Considering I do not know my way around this city, or how to operate this damn phone," I say, holding up my phone to her for emphasis, "I have done nothing."
She looks at me sympathetically. She opens her mouth to say something, but shuts it quickly. I am beginning to regret even coming, but I want answers, so I stay.
"Why don't I ask the questions?" I suggest. She nods her head slowly, and I rack my brain for the one question I have on my mind currently, but more than one come out.
"Who died? Where is Sawyer? Do I have a job? Where are my parents? Why can't I contact them? Who am I?" It all flows out of me, as if I have no control over my words. Katie has tears brimming her eyes, and I'm almost mad that she is the one crying.
"I was told not to say, Kenn. I am really sorry. I can't tell you." A single tear falls down her cheek, and that was my breaking point. I slam my fists down on the table. Katie almost looks scared of me, but at this point, I don't give a fuck. I grab my belongings and run out of the building.
How could she, my supposed best friend, keep all of this from me? In what world is any of this a good idea? I need answers. I don't know who I am. I don't know what I am. I have no one. How am I even safe to be alone?
I keep walking, with no destination in mind. I past the turn to my apartment long ago, and I honestly had no earthly clue where I was now. I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing that I don't seem to care that I am lost.
Coming from behind me, I can hear footsteps. I don't know how I can tell, but I know they belong to Katie. I am relieved that she decided to get up and follow me, since I was lost, but I hope she doesn't expect me to be her best friend.
~~~~~~~~~~
"I'll tell you what I can. I promise." Katie looks at me without breaking eye contact. I want to believe her - I honestly do. She made me swear that I wouldn't ask questions, and that I would let her do the talking. Something about a rush of information and my going into shock.
"You're Kennedy Owens, and you're twenty-five years old - which I am sure you already know this by now. We met in college. We both decided to go out on a limb and sign up for random roommates our junior year of college. We hit it off, and we have been best friends ever since. Through college, we had an amazing group of friends: you and I, Rick, Aaron, and lastly Sawyer." She stopped suddenly, at the mention of Sawyer's name, as if she were in pain when she said it. I motioned for her to go on.
"Throughout the past five years, there were happy and sad moments. Nothing is ever perfect. I am still your best friend, if you allow me. I was there every day, between classes and work, waiting for you to wake up. Once I graduate from law school, I got a job in another state. It became difficult for me to come visit you. I hated every second of it. You were, are, my best friend, and I couldn't be there for you. We were all there for you, but our lives couldn't stop. As much as I wanted mine to pause momentarily for you, I had to go. We all did. But, please. Please don't think that we don't care. We were all notified, when you were released. All of us. He knows."
She stopped with that. My heart was beating fast. I couldn't tell if I was angry or sad or happy. I was feeling such a rush of emotions, that it was hard to identify what I felt. People know that I'm okay. People know that I'm out of the hospital. They know. For the first time in a very long time, I was excited. I had something to look forward to, now that I was out of the hospital.
My mindset changed, then. I was going to read the letters, as Sawyer instructed. I was going to work with Katie to mend our relationship. I was going to learn more about myself. I was going to unapologetically be me, whether that be the old me or the new me. I was going to live my life with no regrets, because if anyone knows, I know that it can be taken away at any moment.
A/N This is another chapter. I'm still working on changing things around, so if you read that Sawyer is Louis, just know that I am making this NOT a fan-fiction. This is a normal story, but it will take some time to get that all in order. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I've updated twice in one night. I don't know when the next update will be! Xx
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Dear Kennedy
FanfictionHe wrote her thirty-one letters. Thirty-one letters telling her of their story. How they met, when they began dating, their first fight, spending holidays with each other.. Can Sawyer repair her memory with his words, or will she forever be lost in...
