Last First Kiss [Brallon+Completed]

20: Dear Dallon (Day Five)

Dear Dallon,

It's been five days, why aren't you awake? I'm a mess. I haven't gone outside since I visited you in the hospital on day one. I'm not sure how to cope with it. Am I a bad person? I feel like I am. Especially with what I've done to you. As for the secret revealing thing, I'm an impulsive person. It just came out while I was drunk. I never wanted to hurt you like I did. I'm sorry.

I have a lot of feelings for you, Dallon. It scares me. I've had strong feelings for somebody like this before, and it left me a mess. I didn't want to fall in love again. Have I? I can't be too sure, and I'm not too keen on admitting whether I have or not onto some piece of paper. It could fall into the wrong hands. I could get hurt. You could get hurt. That is, if you survive.

As I was saying, I was unsure how to cope, so I turned to art, again. I keep painting you, Dallon. I keep painting your smile, in different shades of yellows, and soft blues. I keep painting your eyes in pink, and your skin in a dark purple. I always come back to your chest. I always give you the colorful heart you hold.

I'm always drawing you with stars for freckles, and defined dimples. I love your dimples. They add a broader personality to your cheeks. But lately, I've been using a lot of red in my self portraits. Again. Am I falling apart? You're picking me apart, piece by piece, and you aren't even around to do so.

Gerard came back the other day, and slammed on my door until I answered. Not my bedroom door. I was in my painting room, which was designed specifically for my paintings. I have cases upon cases, and file cabinets loaded with paintings, sketches, all down to little doodles. The walls are decorated in my recent paintings. They're all of you. My canvas currently sits blank, but ideas are swirling in my head. All I've been doing is painting. I've lost sleep over you. Please wake up.

Gerard asked me very intrusive questions about you, and your family. While I know the answers, I fought my impulsive behaviour and avoided answering any of them. I dodged them. Every single one. He's not happy with me, but I could care less about his stupid opinion. Please wake up.

Spencer needs you.

Tyler and Josh, who're now dating, need you.

I need you.

- B, xoxo