Last First Kiss [Brallon+Completed]

19: Dear Dallon (Day One)

Dear Dallon,

I don't like seeing you in that hospital bed. Why am I even writing these? I'm never one to write things to people. In fact, I'm never one to professionally get my feelings out to people. I guess that's why I snapped at you the day you asked why I came to Black Hollows.

I was ashamed of what you would think of me. I know you know I was a model, but the reasons behind such disturb me, and cast shame upon me. Why, you may ask, do I have magazine covers featuring my own modeling, taped to my walls?

Well, I was taught that the only way to drown your demons it to acknowledge they're there in the first place, and you'll occasionally lose them as you focus on other things, hence my need for photography. But I've lived in Black Hollows for years, and not once have I come to peace with myself by having those pictures on the wall.

I use art as an escape. I draw things I love, but I also draw the feelings that I internalize, as a vent form. It's easier to express how I'm feeling with a pencil and water paints than it is with words, you know? I know it's no excuse, but still. Most of the time I draw things I love, such as you. The night you pointed out Canis Major? Remember how I dropped my arms over my notepad to hide it?

I was hiding a picture of you. I love the littls things about you, Dallon. I love your innocence, which I made pretty clear pretty quickly. I love your smile. And I love when you're happy; and I could already tell that you were happiest when exposed to the stars. So I was drawing you while you stargazed.

It was gonna be a surprise, but I haven't gotten the chance to finish it yet.

I hope you wake up soon. We may have just started dating, but I can promise you, it was the beginning of something great.

It's lonely here in my apartment. Gerard hasn't been home all day, and even when he comes home, I don't want to speak to him. Not after he threatened to get you. I won't let him get you. He doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve shit.

I hate to say it, but he was my childhood best friend. But I've been very iffy on it for a few years now. He's a very toxic friend. I plan on cutting our friendship off pretty soon. Maybe you could roommate with me. You wouldn't have to live in that shitty, small dorm anymore.

I'm not even sure if you'll see these. I'll probably rip these up and throw them in the trash, anyways.

- B, xoxo