The Us I Thought We Were ↹ [Poetry]

A Stormy Hidden Message

The rain beats in the chorus of my thoughts like a drum
Constantly sounding in the background of the screams that make me numb
I listen closely to the low thuds as it builds into a thunder
My thoughts increasing with intensity, forcing my surrender
I fall back into the depths of my unconscious mind
As it continually convinces me, my heart I will never find
I sit silently on my bed made out of a cotton candy cloud
I don't know how I ever let the thunder get so loud
I sink deeper and deeper into the pink fluff that supposedly supports me
Trying much harder than I ever have to simply make the ends meet
My mind is divided right down the middle
The music man playing me like I am his fiddle
My thoughts crash as the lightning blinds my eyes
Nobody seems to notice, which isn't a surprise
I am tumbling so far down the rabbit hole
My mind a Roman candle illuminating my soul
I am no longer sure if the water that clouds my vision
Is from the nights of countless tears or simply the storm I face within
The rain drops singing around me, a sweet little lullaby
Leaving me to pick myself up, trying hard not to cry
But my thoughts I cannot keep away from the flooding waters
So long as I am thinking of you, the walls fall along my borders
I let you in slowly, wary of the raging storm within
Trying to let you hear the thunder as a glorious chorus of sins
I cannot keep these thoughts I think from rushing deep inside
The thoughts of you, they make me feel and that I cannot hide
I have never been one for emotion
Especially not in the way of devotion
But this time I decide to cut the storm in half
Maybe just to live a bit, maybe even laugh
My heart, I cannot keep from you the horrors of my soul
The thunder's rising deep inside of me, coming out as a powerful roll
Because sometimes the only way I can find to confess to you my love
Is written in the stars, hidden by the stormy gray clouds I conjured up above.