parenthood

Episode 5; Emergeny Room

"No way Madeline!" I could already hear Talia's mouth drop as soon as I told her my news. After much consideration and talking some things over with Harry I had decided not to go back to work. I didn't want someone else raising my baby while I was at work, I wanted to be home with Scout. This wasn't to be confused with me never returning to work, I loved being a lawyer and wasn't going to give that up. I was merely putting my career on hold while Scout was barely three months old.

"You were working at the top law firm in Miami! What did your boss say?!" Talia craved to know more about my conversation with my boss as I found a parking spot and pulled into it with ease.

"He said that he understood and when I was ready to come back there was always a spot for me there. I just want to be at home with Scout right now and Harry agrees. We don't want to put her in daycare." I explain to Talia even to know she will have a hard time comprehending that. I found that if someone didn't have a baby or a kid for that matter it was hard for them to understand your point of view.

"Mads people put their babies in daycare all day every day, what's the holdup?" Talia continued as I unbuckle Scout's car seat and make my way into the apartment lobby where I press the button to activate the elevator.

"I don't want to put Scout in the care of someone else when I am perfectly capable. Harry and I have already talked it over and he feels more comfortable with me staying home always. It's not like I'm giving up my career! I'm just pressing pause on it." I shake my head getting a little annoyed trying to explain a concept Talia obviously wasn't grasping.

"You are crazy Madeline! Crazy I tell you!"

"Yeah well I think that nickname is long overdue, crazy happened when I found out I was pregnant." I giggle opening up the door to Harry and I's now shared apartment. Scout laid in her car seat half asleep as I lifted the car seat up onto the kitchen counter. Her eyes glazed over as she coughs deeply, she blinks slowly looking at me lazily.

I had called the pediatrician a few days ago asking about Scout's symptoms since I was a little worried about her restlessness and constantly coughing. After a conversation full of various questions I still felt helpless looking at my sick little baby. The pediatrician had told me that since we were in December the winter months were a breeding ground for colds which was what she was diagnosing Scout with given the symptoms I had laid out.

"You look so sick, princess! I'm so sorry!" I rub her rosy cheeks that are glowing pink as I take her out of her car seat and lay her in my chest. Her breathing is quick and raspy as she tries to cough something that isn't coming up.

"That's very true, in that case, you are one of the craziest people I know! At least you keep me entertained, you should really get yourself a reality tv show!" Talia goes on but my attention span is drawing away from my phone conversation. I can't help but feel a little worried about Scout's growing illness. It had been 3 or so days and she wasn't getting any better if anything she was getting worse.

"Hey, Tal can I call you back later?" I ask as I get increasingly nervous listening to Scout's rapid breathing pattern. It sounded as if she were putting forth tons of effort to pull in oxygen.

"Yeah, is everything alright?" Talia asks me as I rub Scout's back that is clothed in a soft gray and white striped long sleeved onesie. She lays against me and fighting to breathe as she coughs and whimpers from the energy she exerts.

"The pediatrician told me Scout has a cold but I'm not convinced. I mean she is a little lethargic and it's making me nervous. I've never cared for a sick baby but this doesn't seem normal." I rock back and forth and glance at the clock to see Harry will be home at any moment. Once he got home maybe we could figure something out, call the doctor to see if we can give her anything to alleviate the pain.