What Have I Done and What Am I Going to Do Now? (A teacher/student mishap)

Chapter 35: It's All in the Words

"Okay hotness. His name is Carver. He's 4 years old. He likes trucks, getting dirty and believe it or not, keeping his room clean. He didn't get that one from me." I chuckled thinking of the constant mess on my desk in my office and in the class room.

"Well badboy, what does he look like? Can I meet him?" She asked eagerly. I don't think I would have suggested meeting him so soon. Maybe she's a bit too eager.

"He has dirty blond hair like my wife and golden eyes. I have no idea where he gets them, maybe someone in my family. As far as meting him, we haven't even finished talking yet, and you already want to meet him. That may be a bit too soon hotness." I remarked carefully.

I had learned after so many months that pregnant women, or this one especially, could be awfully bipolar when it comes to emotions. I had to tread lightly around her. I guess I couldn't blame her after all she'd been through.

"Oh, um okay then. I understand that I guess." She spoke softly and seemed as though she was a little offended that I had turned her down. I gripped her hands and rubbed gentle circles on her hands, as I often did.

"Look, it's not that I don't want you to meet him, it's just that he's sick in the hospital. He's weak, but he's very smart and I'm afraid that if he sees us together, he'll figure things out and be devastated." I explained the best way I could. I noted the slightly saddened look and heavy sigh that escaped her.

"Are you ashamed of me? Is it because I'm fat or hideous? I knew it. You knock me up and then you think I'm ugly because I'm pregnant." after those words she began to cry. Damn. I swear the girl is a mess. I need to re assure her with the truth, not what she wanted to hear.

"Jade, I... I'm not ashamed of you, that you're pregnant with my baby, I want this. And you're not fat or hideous. Have you looked in the mirror? Pregnant or not, you're gorgeous and sexy. I love your body. You make heads turn and dicks hard just by walking by guys. At least you do that to me." I admitted honestly. She was stunning and everyone knew it. I was lucky to have her, well sort of have her.

"Oh, okay then. Flattery will get you everywhere badboy, so remember that." She winked and I was proud to have put out that fire. "So, where did you get the name Carver? It's the same as your tattoo right?" Jade reached out then and traced my tattoo delicately with her fingertips.

It felt so good. I wanted her in my arms, in my life, in my bed so badly I could taste it. But now was not the time for being horny. We still had some serious talking to do and now shed brought up a subject that I didn't want to discuss. Yet it seems only fair since she talked about her baby and I'm certain that was very difficult for her to do.

"Well Jade, I never told you this but" I sighed heavily and closed for a spilt second. "My son is named after my brother Carver." I admitted. Painful memories filled my head that I couldn't ignore and suddenly I was stricken with sadness.

"You have a brother?" She asked in awe, as if another one of me was too much for the universe to handle. She was quite right about that. We were twins and they used to call us 'double trouble'.

"Had a brother." I hesitated because talking about him always choked me up. He was such a good brother, and we were as close as any siblings could be. I missed him.

"I'm so sorry Fenix, I had no idea." Jade said softly and stroked my shoulder gently to comfort me. I was tough. I wasn't going to cry in front of her. I never cried except when he died, when my son was born and when they told us he was sick.

"He was my twin. He died in that train derailment four or so years ago, just before my son was born. So the tattoo, it's for both of them." I replied with a heavy sigh. It's not only my brother who could be dead, my son could just as easily die from his condition as well.