A Deceptive Love(Black Butler Claude x Alois)

Chapter 10: Diary of Alois Trancy

Claude was keeping the Estate tidy as usual. He tripped on a small notebook and picked it up upon curiosity. He inspect it closely and realized it was a diary...

Dear Diary,

This is stupid. Talking to a piece of paper.. like you'd ever answer back. I suppose I have no other choice. No one would listen to me anyway. Hannah sickens me with all her quivering and whore-like bodice. The triplets wouldn't do any good either. And then Claude... He'd only think of me as his food. He never cared for me in the first place. His words are only there to deceive as much as his web full of lies. His words are slippery like butter and his tongue is sharp as knives. Those knives cut through my heart, forcing me to be trapped in his spider's web. For the first time, I thought someone actually cared for me. But I was wrong as usual.

I'm only being used. He's only using me to obtain that brat's soul. He's just like the old filthy man. They'd only use me for their own entertainment and if I don't satisfy them any longer, I'd be tossed away like a leftover.

But I still like to believe that maybe.. just maybe Claude adores me-that he loves me! Then my existance in this world wouldn't be meaningless. But no matter how much I convince myself, I know I'm just denying the inevitable. Claude will leave me someday just like everybody else. Tell me, am I not good enough? IS ALOIS TRANCY NOT GOOD ENOUGH?!I considered my new self as dominant, lovable, and most of all irresistable. But still, it isn't enough.

But I still like to believe that maybe.. just maybe Claude adores me-that he loves me! Then my existance in this world wouldn't be meaningless. But no matter how much I convince myself, I know I'm just denying the inevitable. Claude will leave me someday just like everybody else. Tell me, am I not good enough? IS ALOIS TRANCY NOT GOOD ENOUGH?!I considered my new self as dominant, lovable, and most of all irresistable. But still, it isn't enough.

I'd stare at the mirror and still see that weak boy by the name Jim Macken. How I hated that boy... so submissive, so pathetic. That's why I changed myself into someone I didn't even know. But still...everybody hates me.

I had dreams-nightmares of someone crushing my head like a marshmallow. I'd wake up covered in sweat and undescribable fear. Claude was always there to comfort me. But alas, I faced that nightmare with my eyes wide open. Claude crushed my head as much as he crushed my fragile heart. As my lifeless body hit the ground, I came up with a plan to trap them into my own spider's web. It worked and we were forever trapped in an endless swriling nirvana.

I had dreams-nightmares of someone crushing my head like a marshmallow. I'd wake up covered in sweat and undescribable fear. Claude was always there to comfort me. But alas, I faced that nightmare with my eyes wide open. Claude crushed my head as much as he crushed my fragile heart. As my lifeless body hit the ground, I came up with a plan to trap them into my own spider's web. It worked and we were forever trapped in an endless swriling nirvana.

Perhaps...perhaps if I did this one last step, I won't see any cruelty anymore and then my Highness would love me.

Good bye, my filthy blue eyes.

Claude smelled the blood on the last page of the diary. They were indeed from His Highness. He dropped the diary in shocked and headed towards Alois' bedroom. There he laid, trembling on the floor. His eyes were bleeding and he was clutching a small bloody knife.

"Your Highness, what have you done?"

He cradled the small boy and brushed his hair away from his face.

"Y-Your Highness..."

Claude bursts into tears. This was the first time he had ever cried let alone for a human.

Alois's lips curled into a smile. "Claude, do you love me now?"

Claude had always loved the boy but his pride as a demon prevented him from doing so. And now, he regrets holding back his feelings.

"Your Highness, I have always loved but I was too proud to say it. I'm so sorry."

He placed kisses all over the boy's face and held him close.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

He took the boy's hand and gave it a gentle kiss.

"Claude, you're such a jerk!" Alois repeatedly slapped Claude anywhere his hands landed. Claude shushed and embraced him tightly. He went limp in the butler's embrace.

"Please forgive me. From now on, I will take care of you. Pride into remorse, bright blue into blackness, and hate into love. That master, is what makes a Trancy butler."