Grace

Heaven

Yawning, you cuddled deeper into the fluffiest bed you had ever slept on. It was softer than a pillow, both the mattress and the comforter covering you. Feeling better than you had in a long time, you let the softness and the safety lull you back to sleep, nothing worrying on your mind.

The next time you woke, you could sense something was different. No longer could you smell the mildew and staleness of the hotel room. You could no longer hear the sounds of your neighbors next door, or the road running in front of it.

Forcing your eyes to open, you glanced around quickly, your heart rate picking up the more you saw. The room was your room, from when you were a teenager. No longer the faded wallpaper from the hotel, your room was painted a vibrant (favorite color) with pictures covering most of the walls. Pictures of you with your family, or with your friends. Posters of your favorite bands, and shows. Everything was exactly as it had been before you had moved out and gotten your own place. Even your diary was still safely tucked away underneath your mattress. You could still feel it's lump.

Sliding out of bed, you glanced down at your outfit, seeing your favorite pajama's from when you had been 16. An oversized band shirt, along with a pair of skimpy shorts. Racing over to the mirror you were relieved to see it was you, at least the older version of you even if all your scars were gone.

"What the..." You muttered to yourself as you made your way over to the window. Pulling back the curtain, you saw the same backyard you had stared into for 18 years of your life. But this time the scenery behind it seemed fake. Like you were in a snow globe, or a scene from a movie.

Racing over to your door, you threw it open, rushing into your parent's rooms. Their bed was nicely made, everything the same as before they died. Starting to freak out a little bit, you took the stairs two at a time, heading into the kitchen. What you saw had you stopping in the doorway, a hand to your heart.

"Mom?" You breathed out. The last time you had seen her was with blood covering her, laying dead on the floor of her room.

"Hello sweetie!" She exclaimed, turning to face you, a cookie sheet in her hands. "You're just in time, I'm making cinnamon rolls!"

"Mom, what's going on?" You asked her. This wasn't right. Your parents were dead, you were wanted for their murder. Sam, Dean and Cas were your family now, with Dean being your boyfriend.

"It's summer break." Your Mom exclaimed. "Your Dad's already at work, but I thought you and I could have a girl's day."

"Where are we?" You tried again, as she guided you to the table, pouring you a glass of orange juice, plating a cinnamon roll in front of you.

"Home silly. Are you sure you didn't sneak out and go partying last night?" She asked, before pressing the back of her hand to your forehead.

That's when you remembered this memory. Your summer when you had been 16. Your Mom had worked so hard to make your relationship stronger. Day trips, shopping. Even baking together. This memory had been the start of it, and you had always looked back on this day fondly.

"Y/N, this is your heaven." A familiar voice said from behind you. Turning in your seat, you saw your favorite Angel standing there, a sad smile on his face.

"What do you mean, this is my heaven?" You asked him. "This just has to be some weird dream. I'm going to wake up any minute, in that crappy room, and Dean's going to be there, laying next to me."

As he took a step towards you, you glanced over at your Mom. She just kept moving around the kitchen, never even noticing the strange man in her house. "Mom?" You called out, but she acted as if she never even heard you. Moving from place to place, as if caught in an endless loop.

"She can't hear you. Not right now." Cas explained as he came to stand next to you. "This is heaven, and as an Angel I can change it to suit my will."

His words finally sinking in, you felt as if a huge weight had been placed on your shoulders. With tears in your eyes, you pleaded with your Angelic friend. "Please tell me you're joking. I don't want to be up here. I want to be with Dean. I don't want to be dead!"

Reaching for your hand, he frowned when you snatched it back. "Y/N, believe me when I say none of us wanted this to happen. I came as soon as I heard Sam's plea, but by then it was too late. You were gone from that world, your soul already making its way up here."

"And Gabriel? Why did he never come again?" You asked, as a tear splashed against the table. The truth of his words was hitting you hard, and you were having a challenging time controlling the emotions rolling through you.

"He did. After I showed up. But it was too late. Even with both an Angel and an Archangel, it was too much to bring you back. We tried, of course we tried. Dean wouldn't have it any other way. But your soul had already left your body."

"No." You whispered, before swiping your plate from the table in one angry swipe. "I can't be gone! I can't leave Dean behind! You know how he's going to act. He's going to think this is all his fault!"

"Dean is struggling." Cas agreed. "That is one of the reasons I came and visited you."

As suddenly as your anger hit, it turned into distress and heartbreak. "My poor Dean."

"I promised him I would check on you. To give him peace of mind. Along with Sam and me. All three of us care for you deeply." He said, his hand reaching forward, and you had no energy to pull away.

"There's no way to bring me back?" You asked him, your vision blurred through all your tears. "I can't be stuck in this memory forever!"

"It might not be this memory forever. You might still be going through your memories as you get to your heaven of your own." He explained. "As to bringing you back, why? All you knew down in Earth was pain and suffering. Torment. Why would you want to go back?"

"That's not all I knew." You sniffed. "I knew love. A better love than I had ever imagined. I had a new family that I cared for, deeply. And I had Dean. The love of my life. He is why I want to go back there. So I can see the freckles spread across his nose, the mossy green eyes that showed so much emotion. I want to be held in those strong arms again, to feel those plump lips against mine once more!"

"Y/N, what you ask is very difficult. Almost impossible. Sure, Sam and Dean have been pulled out of heaven, but that's because God commanded it. I'm not sure I would be able to help you."

"Please." You pleaded, as tears spilled down your cheeks. "I can't stay here. I need to be back with Dean."