Fez

Tick Tock Pt. 2

We walked around the ship for a few minutes and found the control room where there was a painting of a woman with Madame de Pompadour printed below it. Bow Tie walked off to the other room and found an eighteenth century, double sided fireplace.
"I think we're gonna need The Doctor for this one," I remarked.
"Haven't we had enough of that lunatic for this month?" Bow Tie retorted.
"Well, let's just look at the situation here. Portals through space and time, clockwork men with built in arm shanks, and Eighteenth Century France."
"True,but that doesn't mean we need to rely on him for every space time portal we find."
"Did I mention a space time portal connecting 2017 with Eighteenth Century France. The confusion on either end would be tremendous for all who stumble across the portals, and I'm not just talking about the space ship bit, but French ideals."
"Yeah, French people are strange. Why would you just up and kiss someone you just met. Wait, would French people's first hug be more important than their first kiss?"
"France, they have great parties, but make no sense."
A group of the clockwork men, along with the first one, all teleported into the room and surrounded us quite abruptly. They ejected their arm shanks and closed us both in.
"You wouldn't happen to have any more liquid nitrogen, would you?" Bow Tie asked.
"That was all, sorry about that," I responded.
"The brain is compatible," the first clockwork guy said.
"I think we knew that already, Mr. Clock guy," I responded.
"The brain is compatible," he repeated.
The clockwork man flipped out a secondary arm shank with a hypodermic needle attached.
"I do not do needles," I said before kicking him away.
"You know what's not good for clocks?" Bow Tie asked.
The clockwork men paused then the first responded, "What?"
"A screwdriver in the face," Bow Tie whipped out a screwdriver and started to jam the screwdriver in their heads.
"And you say I'm violent!" I argued.
Once she was done all that was left was a few piles of gears and six clockwork men on the floor.
"I think we ought to call The Doctor now," I suggested.
"Yeah, space time portals are kind of his thing," Bow Tie agreed.
I dialed his number and the phone began to ring.
"Hello?" A girl responded this time, yet she was from London.
"Hi, I'd like to speak with The Doctor please," I replied.
"Oh, yeah."
Another voice came on the phone, a British man definitely. "Thanks, Rose. Hello, Doctor here, who are you?" The man said.
"I'm Agent Fez, I'm with U.N.I.T. We met before or no, you're from earlier, never mind. I have a space time portal connecting 2017, a space ship from who knows when, and Eighteenth Century France."
"Oh yeah, I took care of the French part a year or two ago, in my time at least. I didn't see the 2017 part, though."
"Uh huh, I need to close the one portal so the clockwork people don't steal humans and their clocks."
"Alright, you'll need a toaster; two pieces of paper; some copper wiring; and a Nokia."
"How do I put them together?"
"Lots of superglue and some duct tape. You need to tape the copper wiring around the portal and stick the end inside the charging port on the phone, glue the phone onto the inside of the toaster, tape the two pieces of paper over the holes on the toaster once the phone is inside, and then turn the toaster on."
"That sounds extremely dangerous."
"Typically these things are."
"Right, I'll get to it then. Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
I hung up the phone and we went back to the abandoned building. I built the Nokia bomb and checked that all the things were in the right place.
"What is this, Fez?" Bow Tie inquired.
"I'm calling it a Nokia bomb, it's supposed to close the portal," I replied," I have no idea how it works, though. The Doctor said it would definitely not blow up."
"I have a hard time believing that."
"Me, too."
"We should probably have a fire extinguisher on hand, you know, just in case."
I whipped out a fire extinguisher from my fez, "Already on it. You ready?"
"Nope, but go ahead."
I pushed down the toaster's lever and we both stepped back into another room. There was a sinister hissing noise and after a few minutes it stopped. We peaked inside the room and the entirety of the carpet was on fire. I sprayed the floor with the fire extinguisher and checked the under the trap door. There was no spaceship this time, instead there was a basement filled with old cheese. I really didn't want to know what that was there for so we just pushed the remaining parts of the rug over it. I picked up the Nokia bomb and all that was left was the phone.
"They really are indestructible," I muttered.