Fez

A Maple Mugging

So, Bow Tie and I got a well needed vacation this weekend and we decided to visit Canada. Don't ask me why, Bow Tie just loves that place. Traveling is much easier with our U.N.I.T. issued indigo packs, did I explain those? Nope I didn't, anyways they were created in an experiment from a few years back and U.N.I.T. finally perfected it into a compact box (and it's not the one you're thinking about, you know, the bigger on the inside one) about the size of a brick cell-phone. People give you weird looks sometimes when you carry them around, it's probably because they think it's a brick cell-phone from the late 1900's. In fact, it actually looks exactly like one of them. Back on track, right, so Bow Tie and I had just gotten to our reserved room in a hotel in Quebec. It was a lovely place, I was surprised at the amount of maple leaves, though. The first place we went was a maple syrup distillery where we bought several gallons of maple syrup that would probably supply us both for the next ten years. We were having a grand old time until we met Liam, a Canadian high school student. He seemed nice enough at first, I mean he's Canadian after all, that was until he tried to mug us. He had, what I could tell, was a fairly large knife pressed to my neck.
"Put all of your money into this bag or the blonde one gets it," he said with a thick Canadian accent.
"Go ahead Liam, I don't mind, it saves me the time of killing myself," I said through gritted teeth, "Could be worse, I could've been in a wheelchair for the rest of my life married to a police officer from Brooklyn."
Bow Tie gave me a strange look, "What has gotten into you lately, Fez? You are acting so strange."
"Oh, there are just so many things I haven't said, you know those two Lamins? Carmin and Chastity? They gave me my memories back, I don't want them though, I just don't want to have to see all those thing that happened. I liked clueless me better, the one that could do whatever she wants without old memories and morals to drag her down, the one who could fearlessly climb inside an elevator shaft, the one who was able to come face to face with death and make a sarcastic remark off the top of her head," I let out a long needed sigh of relief, "Thing is, I've lost so much that I can't replace."
"Can we continue this conversation later? I am currently mugging you," Liam interjected.
I gave Liam a long hard look that seemed to soften his composure a bit, "You really couldn't kill me, Liam. You're too innocent to do that. No one needs to have the weight of that at such a young age, trust me I know."
"I could, you don't know what I'm capable of."
"Correction, I know what you're capable of. Mercy."
Bow Tie said once again, "There is definitely something wrong with you, you would've decked this kid in a heartbeat before."
"I'm a broken person, Bow Tie. There's no point in fighting back if the battle is already decided. But, then again I do like to let out my anger through violence. Speaking of violence, Liam, I'm sorry if this causes you to not be able to reproduce," I lifted my leg in a swift motion and hit Liam right on the mark.
He dropped to the floor and curled up into the fetal position hugging his legs.
"We never speak of this conversation to anyone ever, correct?" I said to Bow Tie.
"Wait, what conversation?" She replied.
"Good, now let's just enjoy the rest of our vacation."