She Wears Toms, He Wears Converse

Chapter 23

"Falling Off the Tracks"

Astrid's P.O.V

An enormous movement caused my eyes to snap open. At first, I was wondering where I was. However, that question was quickly answered.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hit that pothole," Elle explained. I quickly realized that I was in a moving vehicle, slowly inching back towards where I lived.

"Where are we?" I inquired while looking up to meet Carter's ocean orbs.

"About a half an hour away from home." He told me while pushing a strand of hair from my face. I sat up, removing my head from his thighs.

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep?" Carter asked.

"Yeah," I answered. As always, I seemed to be at a loss of words. I gazed around the inside of the car. Carter's hand lay on his lap, and for the first time, I noticed something that I hadn't before. I guess I wasn't always preoccupied with looking at his hands, yet right now, I couldn't help but notice a scar on his left hand across two of his knuckles. Did I imagine things, or had that been there the entire time that I've known him?

-------The next day----

I seemed to roll out of bed when my mother shouted my name. Why must school start so early in the morning?

I stepped in front of the mirror. Ew. There was no use trying to tame my hair today. I tied it up in a messy bun before moving on to my clothes. It became evident that today I didn't care about anything. I quickly looked through the scattered clothes for my sweat pants. I had no luck while searching, so I grabbed a pair of jeans with rips in them along with a baggy 'Nirvana' shirt. I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. That's when I noticed that these pants were tighter than usual. I felt as though a powerful wave was crashing over me at the realization that those jeans were tight. They used to be baggy.

It wasn't similar to a tsunami; however, I don't doubt that a tsunami is incredibly powerful. It seemed as though a strong wave was driving me into a thousand sharp rocks, pulling me back in only to repeat the process. Tears began to sting my eyes.

"Astrid, are you awake?" My mother questioned.

"Yes," I told her. However, I wanted something far from being awake.

I forced myself to get off of my bed and go to the scale in the bathroom. The results almost made me want to break down. I had gained eight pounds. Eight.

I wanted to scream until it hurt. I wanted to cry until I couldn't. However, with school approaching, I couldn't do any of those. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and opened the door. I couldn't smile; my eyes opened slowly as I walked towards the door.

"Are you sure you don't want a drive?" My mum questioned.

"Yeah," I told her. "I'd rather walk."

"You aren't having breakfast?" She inquired.

"I'll get something at school."I lied as I stepped out of the door. I hated lying to my mother, but at least she didn't question me like I knew Carter would.

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My face was resting on my right hand, focusing over and over on the number eight. Every time I closed my eyes, all of my bullies stood around me in a circle, chanting the number over and over. You could say my mind likes to torture me, but really my mind is just a smarter version of me. The worst fights and wars are always the ones that you have with yourself; you've got no one else to blame, no one else to hurt.

"Hello?" Harlow called while waving her hands in front of my face. I didn't move away. I just forced my eyes upwards to meet hers.

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?" She questioned.