17: Impatience and Feminism

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^^ Cinder Ella's Spirit ^^

--- Dorian ---

My mind... was very different, now.

Cluttered.

Filled with things that I didn't really care about, or thoughts I'd not been able to finish. The dying faces of all the monsters I'd been slaying.

The people I had crippled, even in the first two weeks of existing in this place, their pain.

I realized why it was here, of course, after all, I wasn't a psychopath, I didn't enjoy hurting people, I was just able to choke down my emotions, and do what needed to be done to make myself stronger, or destroy my enemies.

"I do not regret my actions, and therefore they have no hold on me." I said simply.

"Every action you take in this life is an added feather or stone on your back... whether an action is a feather or stone is, indeed, up to you... but all weight adds up eventually." A deep, rumbling voice hissed.

Weights started piling up on my shoulders, and I hit my knees, surprised. I stood up slowly, my legs quivering under the strain, and grinned in defiance. "That all you got? I've had worse. And unlike you, if I drop my burdens, the world doesn't end." I shrugged off the weights, and they shattered on the ground.

"I see... you believe your actions have no consequences?"

"Oh they have consequences. I never said they didn't. I said that letting them weigh me down was stupid. I make decisions the best I possibly can to further myself and stay alive. I don't regret those decisions, ever. Regretting doing something is stupid. Why think about things you can't change? Why bother saying 'oh what if I'd done this, or said that?!?' Because you can't change your actions! It's done and over! That way of thinking is a waste of brain power, energy, and most of all? It's a Waste of my God Damned Time." I snarled at him, striding away from the weights, leaving them behind.

"I see. A Nihilist. How quaint. Then, Elf Dorian... what do you think burdens are? What do you think Weight is?"

"Weight is the measure of one objects Gravitational effect on another object. Burdens are twofold: either metaphorical weights carried by the Fettered in their Minds, or Physical weights, such as a backpack or some other such thing, that has actual, physical weight." I answered concisely.

"Hmph. And people say I'm too full of myself." He grumbled, and I was ejected from my mind.

---

I blinked slowly, and shivered at how cold I was. The area about three feet in any direction was frosted, though the rest of the room was toasty warm.

I moved to the other couch, now that Loki was gone, and opened the 'Cinder Ella' Grimoire.

---

I was suddenly walking down a hallway, escorting a woman. She noticed my sudden change in attitude, and looked at me curiously. "Is something the matter, Sir Dorian?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Of course not. I felt as if I sensed something, but it is gone, now." I lied smoothly.

She nodded and looked forward. "I hope you are capable of playing a part, Sir Dorian. My father knows nothing of your presence in the castle..."

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