What If I Do?

Chapter 25: Not Again

Day After The Party

"Thanks for picking us up mom," Dave said as we walked in the front door.

"Oh it's not a problem David. Britt you ok sweetie?" Virginia asked as I laid down on the couch in the fetal position.

"Ya I'm fine. Just a tummy ache," I replied with a weak smile.

"I'll get you some crackers babe," Dave said and ran off to the kitchen. Virginia kneeled down in front of me and looked at me.

"Are you sure you're ok? You look a little green," she asked again. I smiled at her as best I could and sat up a bit.

"Just haven't been feeling good the past few days. Crackers and ginger ale help," I replied. Dave came back then and gave me the crackers after I sat up. I started eating a cracker as I felt a sharp pain in my tummy. I made a face and Dave got worried.

"You ok? You'd tell me if something was bothering you right?" Dave asked.

"Yes Dave. I'm fine and yes I would. It's just a little pain," I responded with. Dave kissed the side of my head and then looked over at his mom, who was staring at us.

"David what's going on?" she asked, looking between us.

"Mom we weren't going to say anything until after the appointment tomorrow," Dave started but I didn't stick around to hear him tell her.

I ran to the bathroom and dealt with the morning sickness I had started getting the past few days. It wasn't just in the morning though. It tended to last until mid afternoon. When I came back out Virginia walked over to me, hugged me and told me she was happy for us and not to worry so much. I thanked her and then excused myself to go lay down. Dave came with me to put the bags in our room and tucked me into bed. I fell asleep and woke up later with a sharp pain in my abdomen. I called out for Dave and he came running in. I told him that I was in a lot of pain and he suggested we go to the hospital. When I moved the blanket away I saw blood and knew it was happening again. We headed to the hospital and they only just confirmed it. When we got back home, I showered and changed before changing the sheets. I took them with to the kitchen and put them in a garbage bag. I was walking back into the bedroom when I saw Dave standing at the end of the bed. I sat down on the bed and he came to sit beside me.

"I know this may sound stupid but are you ok?" he asked.

"Not really. I think I'm going to lay back down. I'm sorry," I replied. I made a move to get up but Dave grabbed both my hands and stopped me.

"Don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong. You stopped smoking and drinking when you realized you might be. Nothing you did made this happen. It sucks. It really does but it just wasn't meant to be. Do you want me to bring you some soup or something? Maybe some pizza?" Dave asked.

"Maybe some soup please," I replied with a small smile.

Dave left and got the soup while I got into bed and started crying. When he came back, he put it on the nightstand, sat down and rubbed my back. I eventually sat up and tried to eat the soup while Dave put our stuff away. After I was finished, I sat there holding a pillow while Dave same and sat beside me. I put my head on his shoulder and started crying again. Dave pulled me onto his lap and held me as I cried. Eventually we got under the covers and just laid there cuddling. I wanted to ask him if he was ok and to tell him I loved him but every time I want to talk I just cried instead. I propped myself up on my elbow and Dave turned his head to look at me. I leaned over and kissed his cheek a bunch times. I then looked at him and saw he was smiling.

"Are you trying to tell me you love me?" he asked. I nodded in response and he smiled a bit more.

"I love you too. Lay down and go back to sleep. This sucks and I'm really sorry it happened. You take all the time you need to get over this. I'm not going anywhere and will be here to help in any way I can. Whether it means staying in bed and watching movies or holding you while you cry, then I'll do it," Dave said as I looked at him. I did a semi smile and he pulled me down to him for a kiss. I then laid my head down on his chest and drifted off to sleep as Dave watched tv.

The next couple of months I didn't say much of anything at all. I either stayed in bed writing or sitting on the couch watching tv. Dave was being amazing and taking great care of me. I knew me not talking was hard on him but I just couldn't. Most times when I tried to talk I'd end up crying. Everyone had reverted to asking me yes or no questions because all I would do is nod yes or no. The only things I said was hi, bye, I'm fine, thank you and I love you too. Both our birthdays, Christmas and new years had passed before I started really coming back around. Dave had finally had enough and just snapped at me. He told me to snap out of it because he missed me. He had gotten so mad that he went to his mom's and didn't come back for a week. I was sitting on the couch when he came back. When he saw me he ran over and apologized for leaving. I just looked at him and said I was sorry for being so quiet. We then spent the rest of the afternoon talking about what happened and that night we spent it "together" for the first time in forever. The next day we left on a spur of the moment road trip to go see Krist, which I needed. We spent a week with him before coming back home to get ready for Nate and Taylor to move in to start the new album.