The Doctor Will See You Now [Non-Fiction]

Chapter 8: Geriatrics

I had this tiny old lady, Mrs. Jones, who fell and broke arm and leg, both fixed. Little puffs of white hair, porcelain skin, sparkling blue eyes and not much teeth. Very quirky in all of her four-foot-ten glory, to the point where we thought she was delirious, until her family said it's "just her". She's just very picky with everything, constantly demands to know what's going on, refuses help to get changed out of yesterday's clothes, and refuses to have a shower every day. She's just a particular lady.

She dances over to me one day, pushing her walking frame along. I ask her how she is and compliment her mobility.

"I'm great! Did you know I used to be able to do the splits? Allll the way down to the bottom."

"Nice. Please don't show me though."

"And I can touch my toes! Wanna see?"

"NONONONONO." (Bear in mind how she came in -- fall with broken bones)

She lightly touches the floor with her fingers and springs back up and I thank whatever/whoever is up there she didn't topple over.

"And did you know I used to be able to bend allll the way back and do the bridge? And scuttle around like a crab and scare everyone."

"Okay but please don't do it here, Mrs. Jones," I said, almost having a heart attack on the inside.

I love her but my god she took a few years off my life in those few seconds.