300 miles||s.m.

24

[6:24 p.m. Toronto, Canada]
[11:24 p.m. London, United Kingdom]

*delaney*

I haven't seen shawn in 3 months, except briefly for 3 days but that's about it, he's been living his dream on tour. It was my choice to stay here because I need to work on my modeling career, shawn and I talk everyday but mostly it was brief conversations. He's been so busy with tour and with his fans, I know he is having a blast and I couldn't be happier. I do miss him but for some reason, as bad as it may seem I've been losing feelings for him...I don't know how to tell him this but I never see him anymore and I feel like I lost a connection with him. I feel so bad for doing this because this breaks my heart but I think I need to break up with him...the fans still don't know we are dating either and I feel entirely bad but I'm just scared and shawn is to so we've been keeping it quiet still.

Shawn:
Hello!!! I have a surprise for you love :)

It broke my heart...this broke my heart...I had to end this relationship only to keep me going and to lift the weight off of his shoulders I'm just a burden to him.

Me:
what must that be?? ;)

Shawn:
Haahah it's a surprise!!! But you will see in approximately 8 hours ;)

Me:
Shawn!!! That's at 2 am!!!!

Shawn:
I know I know!!! Ahaha but you'll love it

Me:
Whatever you say mendes :)

Shawn:
Well I have to go and get ready, have a good night and remember 2 am ;)

Me:
Okay hahaah, have a good night yourself mendes

It's like I'm afraid to say I love him now because I know I love him still but I don't love him the same....

I can't believe I'm going to break poor Mendes's heart and it's already breaking mine. 

****
*shawn*

I got off the plane that had just landed in Toronto, I was surprising Delaney and I was so excited to see her beautiful face and to hold her in my arms again. It's just lately she's seemed so distant and she barely even said "I love you" even more. But I know all of that will change when I see her any minute now, I just felt so alive at the moment that I was going to see her again...nothing could ruin this moment as of right now.

*delaney*

2 a.m.  2 a.m.  2 a.m.  It was nearly minutes away and I was so anxious, I was nervous to. I didn't know what shawn had I store for me, he was always full of surprises and I loved them. But this time I almost wish the surprise wouldn't happen. Things have changed and people have changed and everything feels so different right now I didn't know what to do. 

I tapped my fingers on the edge of my bed checking my phone nearly every minute as I breathed heavily and my stomach became queasy, waiting impatiently for 2 a.m. 

I don't know what was going to happen but whatever it was I know there could be two outcomes,

One, it would make me happy.

Two, it would eat me alive.

As the time came, I heard a knock on my door and my anxiety picked up as i realized it was 2 a.m.

I get up from my bed slowly walking to the door to see who was there, every step I took was like in slow motion and everything suddenly became louder. I barely could even walk straight but as I reached my hands out to the door I knew I'd regret it.

I opened it slowly and of course he was there...he was there with a big smile on his face and a bouquet of flowers in his left hand. It looked like nothing could ruin his happiness, yet I was. And I know deep down that this was going to kill both of us and with that smile on his face everything made it harder. But I had to do this. It was only for the best.