300 miles||s.m.

25

[9:40 a.m. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania]
[2:40 p.m. Lisbon, Portugal]

*shawn*

One week.

One week since I got my heart broken.

One week since I let the girl I loved seep through my fingertips.

One week since I should've tried harder.

And now,

6 months since I fell in love with Delaney, right in the same place 6 months ago...

I fell in love with her when we were taking a walk in portugal, the second time I hung out with her, unless you count when we met on the plane, then the third time. I sat down on the same place she stood feeling my heart tighten up at the thought of us. And what we used to be.

I wonder how she's doing, I wonder if she's already moved on, I wonder if she's still in canada...now that I think of it she moved to Canada because of me, she left everything behind because of me and i couldn't of felt more guilty as of right now.

"Maybe we never were met to be together. Maybe she left because I didn't take my part in our relationship. Maybe she hates me now. What did I do though...what did I do?" I question myself only be shaken out of my thoughts from 2 Portuguese girls who seemingly looked alike with dark brown hair almost black, they were very pretty also.

"Hi shawn!" One of the dark hair girls smile down at me and I get up off my butt and smile realizing they were fans.

"Hi girls! How are you?" I ask the two ladies.

"Wait...you guys look really familiar...I have met you before, right?!" I exclaim and the nod their head with a even bigger smile on their face.

"Yes!! I can't believe you remembered! In case you forgot I am Sofia and that's Noela, we've met you st the mall here and the restaurant, crazy running into you again" they say and I smile.

"That's so amazing! And yes I do remember you girls names"

"And to answer your question we are great now that we met you again" Noela chuckled and I smiled again.

"The question is, How are you shawn? We heard you mumbling stuff and sitting down...we know you aren't okay...what happened if you don't mind us asking" Sofia kindly says and on the inside my heart felt like another piece came back together, my fans are the best they always seem to look out for me as I do the same to them.

"Honestly...I think I should just tell you guys..I've been wanting to get this off of my chest, so I dated this girl for 3 months and I loved her so much I actually fell in love with her right in this same spot 6 months ago, she lost feelings for me and broke up with me last week...I don't understand why...I still love her" I say trying not to tear up, Sofia and Nora looked so upset.

"Oh shawn...that's horrible! I don't know who she is but I know your hurting and that maybe she wasn't the right person for you and for whatever reasons she lost feelings for her...well she's definitely at a loss and is missing out on the beast guy! You deserve someone that will love you the same way you love them...I hope everything works out for you shawn, just so you know we both love you very very much" Noela says and I smiled a small smile.

"Can I hug you girls?" I tell them and they both nodded their head and I brought them into a big hug, I felt so much love from both of these girls it was unreal.

"I love you guys so much, thank you for being here for me, you girls are so sweet" I touch both of their heads and they let out a giggle.

"Shawn...if you don't mind us asking...who was the girl?" I hesitated for a moment before I said her name, clear and full of sadness.

"Delaney Arevalo" i breathe the name out, it hurt me to say her name.

Their jaws dropped like they just saw a ghost.

"A-are Delaney?!" I looked st them taken back and they both exchanged looks.

"What?" I confusedly ask.

"Oh my gosh!! Delaney is my cousin!! She never told me you guys were dating, I can't believe that she is such a fan of you" they exclaim and i look even more taken back.

"W-Wait what?" I process this all through my head which took me a moment and I look back st the two girls.

"Delaney...she didn't even know who I was when she met me...I would've known if she was a fan or not" I say to them.

"What?! That's so weird because she told me she was a fan when she saw you at the mall with us, maybe she was lying to you or to us" Sofia says.

Wait, what I'm hearing just made my head shake.

It's either Delaney was afraid to be with me so she pretended to be a fan

Or

She lied to me so I could date her for fame but broke up with me when I never told the world...

The last one sounds nothing  like what she would do but at the same time...she never really loved me.

So what should I believe?

*delaney*

I have been in Philadelphia for 3 days now, back home and back with my family, I have to say it is nice and I love it but a part of me misses Toronto and shawn. I know I shouldn't be upset because this was my decision, but I am upset, im upset because I broke Shawn's heart and because he said all of those untrue things about me. I hope he didn't mean it, i was hoping for one last kiss, but there's no going back now.

I'm sure this hurts me just as much as him, actually i think this hurts him more...i can't keep replaying that night in my head...he came to surprise me and he looked so so happy and I ruined it and I understand how heartbroken he is because honestly I'm a bit heartbroken my self.

This is for the better and I keep telling myself that but at the same time I feel a little part of me missing but I know that will go away soon. He'll get over me soon. That's what I want. I want him to be happy with someone better and new and I want the same with me.

"Hi Del.." Cole walks into my bedroom, Well it wasn't much of my bedroom now it was changed into a guest room.

"Hey" I simply say unfazed by his existence.

"Delaney, you aren't okay, i know you aren't" he told me and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm actually better then ever, thank you very much" I snap a bit.

"See, you're not fine" he says sitting on the edge of my bed and I roll my eyes but didn't say anything else and went back to playing the stupid games on my phone.

"I know heartbreak when I see it, trust me, I've gotten my heartbroken by Audrey in high school, I couldn't speak to her and she tried so hard to and I just couldn't I wanted to ignore her but I didn't know it was killing me everyday to have her gone...people cone around and maybe you will to with shawn, i don't know what happened exactly between you two but I think you two deserve each other" Cole says and I quietly laid still, I didn't want to say anything so I just rolled my eyes a bit.

"Yeah, no, i can handle life without him" i tell Cole and he sits down in the bedroom for a few minutes more before he gets up

"Suit yourself, i just want you happy and I love you" he said and I smile a bit.

"I love you to" I say softly as I watch him walk out of my bedroom and I felt so sad as I replayed what my brother said, I don't know if I did the right thing or not with shawn but he probably is breaking somewhere deep down...all because of me.

5/22/17
7:07 p.m.