Gold Rush » Harry Styles

049

After Samantha had announced what we was finally going to do, everything seemed different. Everything that Harry and I had would be over just like that - and the worst part was that we didn't even know when.

I had no idea when Samantha was going to tell my mother the truth or even how she was going to do it. My mum surely wouldn't believe Samantha if she told her, she hates her guts. But Samantha has a picture, and that's what I'm worried about.

Maybe the fact that I feel this strongly about Harry means something. I definitely have feelings for him but do I.. love him?

I've known him for such a long time. A while back, I knew I was falling for him. But am I actually in love with him?

Do I love Harry?

The truth is, I don't know.

How do I know if I love someone? I've always wondered about this and whenever I ask certain people, they always tell me that I'll know when I'm in love.

They say that everything around you becomes better, suddenly the whole world becomes prettier, you start to notice everything around you for the first time, your heart beats a million times faster when you're around that person. And when you hear that one word, there's only one name that comes to mind.

Was Harry's name that name that came to mind?

''Grace? Are you even listening to me?'' Mum asked, trying to get my attention.

I blinked a few times, bringing myself back to reality. Mum came home a while ago and Harry and I had been really awkward around each other. Everything was so weird for us, we're not good at telling each other how we feel. Sure, we admitted that we have feelings for each other but it's harder than that. Ever since Samantha had told us what she did, we both knew what was going to happen but it was so weird to face each other - We didn't even talk about it.

''Clearly, you're not listening.'' Mum snapped me out of my thoughts and I muttered something under my breath. ''What's going on with you?''

''Nothing's going on with me. What were you saying?'' I asked her.

''Go and do the dishes,'' she instructed.

''I don't want to,'' I groaned.

''Grace, please. I don't even want to argue with you right now. Just go and do the dishes.'' Mum said, pointing at the kitchen. A grunt escaped my lips and I tiptoed into the kitchen.

''Grace.. hey.'' Harry said, he was already in the kitchen and spoke once he saw me. I nodded my head awkwardly and started to wash the dishes.

Why was this so weird for us? Usually, normal people would express their feelings for each other and say 'I'm going to miss you, I don't want to lose you' or something like that. Harry and I are so different from everyone else that I don't even know what to call us.

I was a little better at telling Harry how I felt. It wasn't hard for me to tell Harry that I don't want to lose him, but it was trickier for him. I wanted to respect that, and I did. It's just, sometimes I wonder if he even cares.

''Hey, Harry.'' I said, trying not to sound too upset. The whole idea of what might happen to Harry and I was terrifying and I was not ready for that change. It was scary and upsetting too. The only reason I haven't really cried yet is because I'm either trying to avoid it or convincing myself that everything is going to be okay.

"Hi," Harry mumbled, looking down and avoiding eye contact.

"Hey, Harry? We should talk," I told him softly. Usually, I would be the one to approach him first.