Our screwed up world

The Original Power Rangers

Don't get me wrong, I thought the movie was lit. I guess the tv show is pretty good for its time but I'm gonna complain about it anyways. So here is a REAL picture of what we are talking about.

Man they really took a big step in the movie.

They all look like Iron-Man!
But anyways, I wanna show you the theme before I start talking about it. It will be easier for me.

So before anything else happened, it showed Rita and her gang crawling out of some dumpster in the moon. After she spreads al of her bad breath everywhere, she wants to conquer Earth. Now I don't know what could have made her mad at Earth 10,000 years ago but she was ready.
And then you see Zordon's head just pop up in a giant tube and tells his robot, Alpha, that Rita has escaped. And then he tells Alpha to recruit a team of teenagers with attitude! Don't call the army. Don't call the navy. Don't call the Pope. Call some "teenagers with attitude." How do you have attitude when you volunteer at the youth center with your friends? But anyways, back to Zordon. So then you should realize that they never actually called the teens. You should realize that when Alpha pressed a button, they just teleported into the Command Center. You should also realize that they didn't know who the heck Zordon was, so they were practically kidnapped! But then Zordons like blah blah blah Rita blah blah blah Power Rangers and all of a sudden the screen just starts flashing bright lights on and off saying Power Rangers like nobody's gonna have a seizure! What about the kids with epilepsy?!
So now we get to the Power Rangers them selves. Starting with Jason the original Red Ranger. Now normally that would be an exciting thing for someone to experience. But for me it was kind of ruined when I realized he reminded me of this guy.

This guy above me right now is Ryu!
But yeah, he's kind of just a rip off of Ryu. But I guess when your Haim Saban you can do whatever you want.
Now I'm not gonna roast the Yellow Ranger Trini because this original passed away back in 01. So a quick moment of silence for her.
..............
But I do gotta talk about the show for some racist crap they did with her. How you gonna make the Asian girl the Yellow Ranger?! That is just messed up! And they made her helmet look like some Pokémon! But I guess to be fair the show is from Japan.
And then we get to Zack, the Black Ranger. They did the exact thing with him as they did with Trini! How you gonna make the Black guy the Black Ranger. They even made him the one who did the hip hop moves! And his name is Zack. Black guy Zack is the Black Ranger! Black and Zack rhyme. But to be fair Zack is probably my favorite Ranger. I am just so jealous of his hairline! Look at it.

Normally I wouldn't like a hairline that isn't straight. But he pulled that cut off good! Like for real!
I couldn't really find anything wrong with Kimberly, the Pink Ranger. The only thing wrong with her was that she was always in trouble and needed somebody's help. That was sexist.
And then we get to Billy Blue!
Billy used to be my favorite, but that was just because my favorite color was blue. But now that I look at it I think he was in more trouble than Kimberly was! And that is a lot of trouble! I liked Billy in the movie though.
And no it's not because he was black.
But you saw how he just tried to hide from everything in the theme when they were showing him off. Nothing about that scene was cool!
And then you get into a scene with all the zords and I'm like LETS GET IT!
And just when you thought the theme couldn't get better, the man, the myth, the legend, Tommy came! You should all agree with me when I say that this Ranger was the best out of any Ranger. He still is the best Ranger to this day! Even though he started off evil and got beat up by Ry- I mean Jason.
And then they show you Zordon, they show you Rita, and then you get to see Satan!

Oh. I just now realized that that was the Mega-Zord!
Eh, Tommy's dragon was better.