The Truth in the Lies

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I glanced at him as he stood there, motionless, before turning to Eli. "I'm Savanna," I said, reaching out. She shook my hand before she turned back to Chris-er-I mean, Mr. James. 

"There isn't any scotch,"  she said, before turning back inside, knowing she interrupted something. She shut the door behind her. 

"She's pretty," I observed, hating the jealousy that flared up in me. He glanced at me confusion on his face. He nodded. 

"I guess," he admitted. "Anyways, was that all?" 

I was being dismissed. He had stood up straighter, taken a step back and crossed his arms. I sighed, nodding. 

"Yes, sir," I said, forcing the hurt and jealousy out of my voice. "I'll see you Monday, Mr. James." 

I turned and walked away without hearing his reply. 

Who was she? Were he and her a--- I didn't even want to finish that thought. Why was I so jealous? I'm with Josh, who was like the most perfect boyfriend. I shouldn't have feelings for him. But he's done so much for you. He freaking walked away from you because you needed it. The question was did I want him still gone? In another woman's arms? 

*Christopher's POV* 

I needed her gone. My will was crumbling with each second I held her. The way her body molded to mine perfectly, her chest on my head. I clung to her, knowing this would be the only time I allowed myself to have her this close. This was bad. I needed her, I wanted her. I maybe even loved her, but I can't have her. I needed her gone. I sighed and ended the hug. I gripped her shoulders and made her take a step back, away from me. 

The hurt that was etched so plainly on her face nearly made me hug her again, to kiss her and tell her that I didn't mean it. That I was only doing it because I knew i was bad for her. I was trying to be the bigger man for fuck's sake! Why was this so hard? Why was doing the good thing so damn hard? I was about to tell her goodbye, when Eli came through the door complaining about my lack of scotch. I wanted to shove her back in and have this moment with Sav, but it was too much to ask for. 

To say that Sav was hurt when she saw Eli was an understatement, the glance she gave me froze me to my core. She definitely hated me now. I was with another woman, or planned to be anyway. It had become apparently clear to her that I was now off limits, like she was to me. Sav was polite though and Eli took the hint and left quickly.

"She's pretty," she said, taking me completely by surprised. There was no hiding the jealousy in her tone. I glanced at her, confused. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was pushing her away. I was being the bigger man because she needed me to be. Or did I need me to be? I nodded, trying to foce my thoughts away. 

"I guess," I said. I didn't really notice. She was just a good fuck and distraction and that was exactly what I needed. Sav needed to leave. I could feel myself being drawn to her. "Anyways, was that all?" 

I stood up a little straighter and took a step back , distancing myself. I needed her to leave before I grabbed her and kissed her senseless in this hall. I crossed my arms, preventing them from reaching for her. She sighed and nodded, her eyes full of hurt. It nearly made me grab her and tell her I was done fighting myself, fighting myself not to be with her. 

"Yes, sir," she aid, the hurt and jealousy evident in her voice, probably not to her knowledge. "I'll see you Monday, Mr. James." 

That last bit hurt. We were back to last names. It was formal. Distant. It meant she was done too. It took everything within me not to take her in my arms and kiss her, to tell her everything, not to make her mine for good. She turned on her heel and walked away with her head held high. I watched her, my lips parted with her name on the edge of them. I sighed and went inside, not even in the mood anymore. Eli was in the kitchen, looking through my cabinets. 

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