Break my little heart

Sam's POV

I din't have the courage to even look at her as she pleaded with me.

God I was such a freaking coward.

I was planning on taking her life and I didn't even have the decency to look her straight in the eyes and tell her. But then again I had never had the courage to be honest with Summer ever.

If I had always known it would end something like this, our story was one of a forbidden love and someone always dies in those kind of stories. 

Romeo and Juliet were a classic example.

If I had she would know I was doing this for her benefit, I was doing this because I loved her.

I loved her so much. I loved her with all my heart all soul and all this pain I was bringing her nearly killed me inside.

You might say that I'm evil,  that I have no heart for doing this to Summer. That I couldn't possibly love her if I was doing this to her but in reality this was the only kind of love I had ever known, my parents had always shown their love by leaving me or abusing me. So I had grown up accepting this kind of treatment as the definition of love.

I couldn't help it sometimes. As much as I felt sick every time I hurt her, I didn't know how else to show my love, this was all I had ever known. 

As she lay beside me in the car, cowering and whimpering I felt so bad, so freaking bad...

I looked up at the road again, we were here. The woods that surrounded the town, we beautiful, lush green trees that hid the town from sight were like guards. 

I wondered why I had decided to come here out of all there places in our town, country, world I had decided to come here.

Why ???

Then I remembered...

Before my mother had left and my father was still happy and sober, we used to come down to the woods for picnics. I loved the smile that was always spread across my mums face as she laughed at me as I ran around hinting for the bear that supposedly were coming down to the woods today. 

I loved her my father gazed at my mother so much love in his eyes and then the shy embarrassed look as my mother caught him staring at her.

I loved the way they laughed and held each other and then me, the way we stood in the woods, like the happiest family in the world. 

I loved how I thought it would last forever, but nothing lasts forever, happiness and love are just stepping stones to sadness, hurt and later hell, nothing lasts forever.

Even life has to stop sometime and for some of us it comes sooner than expected...

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