The Song Left Unstarted (Gerard Way)

Chapter 19 - Colliding Cars (Part 1)

August 18, 2001. 

It's been six years since I last saw Gerard. The last time I saw him was at the last day of our Summer Course. We were all leaving, it was time for everyone to go. I was attending an art school in Jersey, so I didn't have to take a bus or anything, but Gerard had to. He was going to New York. I walked him to the train station, and wished him well. It was hard letting him go, we hugged for the last time before he boarded his train. I kissed him, told him that I loved him, and he did the same. I waved when the train started to move, letting one stray tear escape my eye. He was crying too, through the window I saw his tears, rolling down his cheeks. That was the last time I saw him, the last time I kissed him, hugged him, smelled him; until now. 

Even though we never saw each other during art school, we still called. Just like our pizza plans, we called each other every Saturday. Yeah, it wasn't the same as talking to him in person, but it still was better than forgetting each other. We did try to meet up a couple of times though, but they never worked out. We either had something to work on, or we were just plain tired from art school. We always talked about it, and made plans but they never happened. I was always upset that I couldn't see him anymore, but atleast we kept in touch. 

Life in art school was very, weird. Everything was sexual there, and being the person in a long distance relationship, it was definitely weird. I was hit on by a lot of guys and girls, to which I would tell them to kindly fuck off. My room mate, this time, was a girl and she would bring a lot of guys in and make out with them. Eventually I did tell her to stop at one point, but she never did. She just asked if she wanted me to bring another guy in. Other than that, art school was pretty fun. The classes were very helpful, and I improved a lot. It was very free, I could paint whatever I wanted. There were no homework assignments, test, nothing, just make art. 

When art school did end, that's when things started going downhill. It's been two years since I graduated, and I have gone nowhere. I'm still stuck living in Jersey, working in a small bookstore. My apartment is small, and disgusting and I barely make enough money for the bills. Eventually, I stopped trying to get a job involving art, and so I stopped painting, it became a waste of time. I was stuck in a book store, doing nothing but sell books all day. Gerard would call me sometimes, during my work hours and ask me how I was doing. He always told me to keep trying to find a better job, but I couldn't. Sometimes, I did get jealous of him, he got a job in the Cartoon Network and was living in New York; but I learned to push those feelings away. He tried, and I gave up. My fault.

Today, for the first time in six years, I can finally see Gerard. I can finally hug him, kiss him, and touch his hair, and I've never been so excited. We've been planning it for about two months now. My work gave me a week off, and I finally got on a train to New York. Gerard offered me to stay at his place, but I turned it down. I didn't want to cause him any trouble, and I wasn't used to being with anyone; so I got a room at a small hotel near his place, he also offered to pay for it, but again, I said no. I was staying in New York  for five days, and even though my room was crap, I could live with it; and maybe I might change my mind and stay with Gerard. 

Right now, I'm in my hotel room waiting for Gerard to come pick me up. He leaves work in a couple of minutes, and would pick me up to get dinner. Nothing special, even though it was our first time seeing each other. I am more nervous than excited. What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he got a girlfriend and didn't tell me? A lot of these questions filled my brain. I didn't prepare for our 'date' though, I'm still in my hoodie and jeans, I didn't want to look like I was too excited. It is just a little meet up anyway.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and it read.

One Unread Message.