The Song Left Unstarted (Gerard Way)

Chapter 10 - Mama

- Chapter talks about self-harm. I do not encourage/support it. This chapter is longer than usual -

I felt a pair of lips gently touch the tip of my nose.

"Wake up Jade, your mom is calling you."

I open my eyes, I first see Gerard, sitting next to me; as I look around I notice that we aren't in our room. We were in the train, and it was very early in the morning. I am filled with confusion, and I turn to Gerard. He giggles when seeing my face. He hands me his phone, it's still ringing.

"I'll explain later, but first talk to your mom."

I nod, and I answer my phone.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, honey! How are you?" My mom answers. She seemed lively, she shouldn't be. Today is her mother's funeral.

"I'm good I guess, we're on the train right now. I'm pretty tired and hungry, but I'm fine." I answer.

"That's great, dear. Um, I'm sorry this is so last minute, but; you need to prepare a eulogy for you Grandmother. I forgot to tell you last time I called, but I think it will be pretty easy for you. You were very close to her, there's a lot of things you can say."

I sigh, I can feel my eyes starting to water. I blink out the tears quickly; Gerard looks at me. He's worried, he says something really quietly that I couldn't pick up. So I just smile at him.

"Mom, do I ha-"

"Yes, Jade. Your Grandmother would want to hear it, wouldn't she? What was the last thing you said to her, Jade? Do you remember? Because I don't, I never even got to say goodbye."

I could then hear the soft sniffles coming from the other phone. Good job Jay, you made your mother cry. But then I think about her question. What was the last thing I had said to my Grandma? I couldn't remember when was the last time I had even talked to her.

"Anyway, I have to go now. Please think about it okay? And I've also cleaned up your room for you and your roommate. You're going to have to share your room, I forgot to clean out the guest room, because of the planning. See you later, honey."

And then she hung up on me.

I pause for a moment, then bend down and put my phone in my bag. When I sit back up Gerard takes my hand. He squeezes it, and kisses me on the cheek.

"You okay? You seem pretty down. Your mom say anything?"

"Nah, I'm good. I just have to write a eulogy for my Grandma; and I just can't remember what the last thing I had said to her was."

He looks at me, his eyes are filled with sorrow; and he again smiles at me.

"You could say what you had said to her, when you found out. The time when you shut the door on me and told me that you were okay. Do you remember what you said? Because I do, you sounded so lost and so sad; it's something I can't forget even if I tried."

"Wait. you heard me? I thought you had left me by then."

"I stayed with you all night, Jay." He squeezes my hand again. I sigh.

"I remember it too, but it's too sad for a eulogy, you know? And aren't they supposed to be something positive?"

I look up at him, and he nods.

"To be honest, if I were you I would just think of it on the spot. If it were my Grandmother, I don't think I would need to prepare one."

I nod, he was right. I didn't need one, there are so many memories of my grandmother, picking a few and reciting them won't help. This is my goodbye to her, not a speech about her. This needed to be sincere.