The Song Left Unstarted (Gerard Way)

Chapter 8 - Singing in the Shower

It has been a few days since I started talking to Gerard. He still hasn't told me why he had been ignoring me that week, but I guess I'm fine with that. He will probably tell me when I start feeling better.

The past couple of days he had been taking care of me, but he never asked any questions. He still knew that I was having a hard time forgiving him, and I was. He was the first person, other than family, that I actually cared for; and so him ignoring me hurt a lot.

Speaking of family, Grandma Helen's funeral was in a few days, and I had to get packed up and ready for it. I had told the Summer Course about what had happened, and they gave me and Gerard a week off. I don't know why they gave Gerard a week off though, I don't think I will be taking him to the funeral. That would be weird, but I kinda do want to take him; he makes me feel calm. He hasn't left my sight since that day too, maybe he thinks that he is invited. I guess I will have to ask my mom.

It was a Thursday afternoon, I was in the living room in Gerard and we were drawing while listening to music. We weren't talking, we just kept each other's company. I didn't have anything to draw, so really I was just looking around the room. Gerard was very concentrated in his drawing, he would occasionally look up and give me a smile; but whatever he was drawing, it must be good. I looked down at my sketchbook, and I sigh. They were all of my Grandma. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I wanted to talk to Gerard, but I didn't want to treat him like he was my therapist or something so I kept quiet.

We've been drawing for hours now, it was now 4:26. I needed to stretch my legs, but I didn't want to bother him. He looked so at peace , and I didn't want to ruin it. I decided that I would draw for another 4 minutes, then I would take a shower. And so for the rest of the time, I just drew little birds surrounding the drawings of my Grandma. Making them all a jay, and a crow.

I really needed to move on.

"I'm going to go and take a shower if that's okay with you." I finally say.

Gerard quickly looks up at me, obviously bothered that I had interrupted him. He then looks down at his drawing and answers,

"Yea sure, I'll just be here drawing."

I nod and take my sketchbook and walk to my room.

When I enter my room, I first dive into my bed. Stretching my legs and arms. I stay in that position, until I finally get up and enter my bathroom. I am confronted with the reflection of myself. I looked horrible. My skin was paler than usual, my red hair was duller, and my eyes looked sadder. I sigh and I stare at my reflection; and the reflection stares back. I then start to not feel like myself; I start feeling as if that wasn't myself in the mirror. It didn't look like me. It can't be me. This isn't who I am. This isn't who I want to be like in front of Gerard. This is the person that I want to hide from everyone, the person that no one should ever see.

Too disgusted by my image, I take my clothes off and hop into the shower.

When the warm water start to hit my body, I do something that I haven't done in a long time.

I start singing.

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Gerard's POV

Getting Jade to forgive me is easier than I thought. She has been talking to me these past couple of days, and I do the same. I'm trying to help her, losing her Grandma wasn't something she wanted to happen. She loved her so much, and she must have meant a lot to her. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, so I don't ask a lot of questions. Mainly all I ask her is if she is hungry, or if she wants to do anything, or if she is okay. She started to tell me that she was fine, and I don't believe her. Her Grandmother's funeral was coming up in a couple of days, and I can tell that she doesn't want to go. She sometimes jokes about missing it, but I know that she is dead serious. And sometimes I want to ask her if I could go with her, but I already know the answer. She hasn't forgiven me yet, even though she is trying so hard not to. I can tell she is trying to find a reason not to let me in again, and I don't blame her. I would have done the same.