Chapter Song: Shake It Out by Florence & the Machine
They weren't able to make the funeral, which very little people attended from what Bella understood, or even travel to see the grave. The only reason why Bella was disappointed about the last was because her parents and MeMaw were buried in the same cemetery. Charlie refused to send flowers which Bella didn't mind. It helped get his aggression out and that's all she cared about.
Charlie stayed to his promise and took Edward to the station's gun range with Carlisle after asking permission. Esme was none too thrilled, but stayed quiet with hard eyes before stomping upstairs. Bella knew she needed to talk to Esme. And now was as good a time as any.
She told Edward this. He didn't agree and wanted her to go with them instead. She stepped back with a solid shake of her head. "I have to do this."
Edward went to protest when Carlisle's voice interrupted him, "I agree with her."
"But, dad—"
"No, Edward," Carlisle cut him off with a challenge in his eyes. Edward clamped his mouth shut with a frown. Carlisle turned to Bella, "It's not going to be easy, she's still very upset with you."
Bella nodded. "I know."
He touched her shoulder before leading Edward out the door to meet Charlie at the range.
Bella turned, looking up to the sound of thwacking. Esme was sewing, very aggressively from the sound of it. Bella wondered if Esme was imaging her head was under the needle.
Her feet felt heavy and lagging as she climbed the stairs. She paused at the door she arrived at far too early.
The door was already open, so Bella stayed standing under the threshold as she watched Esme fluidly influencing the machine and fabric. It looked as if she was making currents but Bella couldn't be sure.
"I know you're there," Esme saying with her back still turned had Bella jumping.
She cleared her throat, still not moving. "Um...I w-wanted to talk to you."
Esme shut off the machine finally, turning to Bella with emotionless eyes. "About what?"
Bella looked down then back up many times before saying, "What I did to Edward."
"I thought we discussed that already," Esme said in a deadpan voice, not giving Bella an inch.
Bella didn't mind, she knew she deserved it. She nodded. "We did, but you deserve to voice how you truly feel."
That had Esme at a lose for moment. She quickly gathered herself with a solid nod. "Fine. Sit."
Bella sat carefully on the old fashion love seat that could've easily been in a museum.
"Go on," Esme prompted impatiently.
"I know you hate me," Bella finally said after a long breath.
"I don't hate you, Bella."
"You don't?" Bella asked, more surprised than she should've been. Esme wasn't heartless, after all.
Esme shook her head. "I'm just very disappointed in you."
"I understand."
"Do you really?"
Bella shut her mouth as Esme voice grew softer and softer in an intimidating way.
"You didn't see him suffer, Bella. I had to watch my little boy not eat. I could barely get him to drink, while I heard his cries through the walls at night. I was powerless to help him, because of you."
Bella pinched the skin on the side of her leg Esme couldn't see to stop herself from crying.
Esme looked away from her as angry tears swam in her eyes, unable to see the girl who'd hurt her beloved son so badly. "I hate seeing you two back together."
That one sentence was like a blow from a shotgun to the chest, but Bella nodded anyway.
Esme looked to Bella questioningly before continuing, "I hate that my son's happiness depends on you."
Bella nodded again, wanting to say something, anything, and coming up short.
Esme frowned at her. "Aren't you going to plead your case to me?"
Bella tilted her head at her. "Not at all."
Esme head snapped back as she blinked. "Why not?"
"Because you're completely right."
Esme's eyes widen as she frowned at the ground. "That's not what I expected."
Bella shrugged. "I'm sick of everyone being so understanding or careful. You're like a breath of fresh air. As far as I'm concerned, you can keep treating me the way you are, but maybe not in front of Edward."
"It's upsetting him," she stated.
Bella nodded. "Away from him, feel free to fire away."
"So you're suggesting for me to fake my affection for you in front of him."
Bella shook her head.
"What then?"
"Maybe just hid your...anger or dislike," Bella chewed her nails nervously, a habit that she'd kicked long ago, as she waited for Esme to respond. She expected her to snap at her not to tell her what to do, but she didn't.
She just sat quietly for a long time, finally speaking after what felt like hours but were only minutes, "You're making this hard."
"Sorry," Bella said instantly.
Esme closed her eyes almost in pain. "There you go again."
"What would make it easier?"
"Start trying to portray yourself as the victim," Esme answered with a dry, unamused laugh.
Bella bit down hard on her lip. "Sorry, I can't. I'm tired of being the victim."
Esme looked at her with something new in her eyes. Respect, Bella thought she saw, but it was gone too quickly for her to be certain.
Esme sighed, rubbing her face with two hands. "When I said I forgave you before, I only said it because Edward told me to."
This shocked Bella the most. "When?"
"Before you came to tell us everything."
"So he told you before I did?"
Esme shook her head with a warning look. Bella sank down, properly rebuked. "No, he wouldn't give me details, and only told me to let you know I forgive you. He didn't say I had to be nice about it."
Bella couldn't help a small smile at Esme's cleverness her son inherited from her.
Esme shook her head, getting back to the point, "Anyway, what I'm getting to is I honestly forgive you this time, but I still won't forgive you the next time."
Bella nodded. "I don't expect you to. Actually, I hope you hunt me down and make me suffer."
Esme smiled at her for the first time in weeks. "Deal."
A/N: I'm sure some people won't like this chapter. But I've been the girl that's hurt the guy she loves and I'm also a momma bear to my only son now, and I can see why Esme would react like this. They also needed this, because now things will become smoother for the two.
I also really like that everything isn't hunky dory with everyone. In life we all have to deal with things that are difficult, but that's what helps us grow and learn, which is something Bella is doing very much of.
I'm not one of those people that thinks everyone has to agree with me and/or praise me, so feel free to tell me what you really think. ;)
To the people that have respectively voiced their opinions, I thank y'all greatly.
Salutations,
Phee
