Harsh | Punk Luke Hemmings

Chapter Ten

Chapter Song: W.D.Y.W.F.M.- The Neighbourhood

Luke

I look at myself in the mirror. I am wearing my favorite band t-shirt, Blink-182. I have my guitar in hand and my hair has been styled. My tattoos are well exposed and my lip rings are shinning under the dim light. I can do this. I say to myself.

I am getting ready for the gig we are playing at tonight and I cannot help but get nervous. I know if I get too nervous or overthink just a little too much, I could send myself into a panic attack. I've gotten them ever since Chelsea had passed, but they usually only come around when I get nervous or stressed. I usually can't control them when they come, so I am trying to pull myself together before this show, so there won't be a chance of it happening. They usually come at least once every 3 or 4 months and I haven't had one for a few months, so that makes me on edge.

When I get them, I have a hard time breathing and can't seem to focus on one thing, I feel like I'm dying. I hate them so much, but I can't do anything about it. Sometimes they do come randomly, but it's mostly when I am nervous. They make me feel vulnerable and weak, which is another reason why I hate them. The rest of the boys know I get them and have left me alone, because the night of our first gig we had ever done, I had one and they all were there. I think they are giving me space so I can deal with it by myself.

I am ready now, I have taken a lot of deep breaths and calmed myself down, once I get onto the stage and start singing I will be fine. I make my way out of the dressing room to find the other boys. I haven't seen Michael since last night with the whole incident that had happened with Andy. I punched him and I don't feel bad about it. Andy on the other hand, made me mad because of her choices she made with willing to take Michael back. After the fight we had and when I dropped her off, I just went back home and slept for awhile because she really tires me out.

I see Calum first, he comes up to me with his bass in his hand. "Hey Luke, are you alright man?" All of the boys do care about me and they always ask if I'm okay especially if I should be nervous.

"Yeah thanks man, I'm fine. I didn't have one tonight, don't worry." I tell him, he looks relieved.

"Good, that's good. We go on stage in 5 minutes, I'm going to go check on Ashton." He responds, I nod and he walks away to find Ash.

I tune the guitar in my hand and some chords to the first song we will be playing. I'm zoned into my guitar I don't even hear Michael come up next to me.

"Hey bro," He says, I finally look up acknowledging his presence. His newly dyed black and purple hair is different from when I saw him last night. He is holding his own guitar in is hand and looks ready to play.

"'Hey bro' is the only thing you are going to say to me?" I respond. I'm still pissed the fuck off by him, and all he is going to say to me is 'hey bro'

"I was going to apologize I overreacted last night and I probably deserved the punch you gave me," He says.

"You did"

"I just want to say I'm sorry and thank for getting Andy home after you guys left. I was just really drunk and I didn't mean anything I said" He tells me. Andy didn't tell him that she slept at my house? Of course she didn't. Well that's just one more thing I have against her.

"Then why did you say it?"

"Because I was drunk. I know you probably won't forgive me and I understand, I just don't want to have tension on stage because I'm sure our fans will notice." He says back to me. Our band is not that well known, but we do have some hardcore fans who follow us and what we do. What he said makes sense and I agree with him.