I was back in my old body. I was in my old house on my old bed. Younger Dina looks so innocent! I look at my cringe worthy old phone to see a text.
Ex: Wanna catch up? There's someone I want you to meet.
Me: Sure. Give me a time and I place.
Ex: We'll meet at the coffee shop after school.
Me: Okay. See ya then
I fell asleep and woke up the next day to go to school. I pulled in with my dads old, beat up, barley-even-runs, car. I found Kyle and we walked into the building.
School went by as normally as it could and when it ended I go in my car and drove to the coffee shop. I'm sure he probably had a new girlfriend. Or maybe someone who was paid to be his girlfriend. Or is latest hook up that he tricked into doing this.
I pulled up and saw him standing at the door. His car wasn't here. He probably got the hook up person to drive. I walked up an he took me to the back where we talked until it was dark.
That's when it happened..
He started the speech I've heard a million times in my nightmares. We both cried for different reasons by the end. "I hope your happy..." And he pulled out the gun.
But this was different. As soon as the gun came out of the pocket of his jacket he turned into a face that I've seen every dog for so many weeks. Ash...
In the end it was ash who killed himself. That made everything worse. It was more bearable with someone I didn't love. But I loved Ashley with everything I am an to see his body losing limp and covered in him own blood... I couldn't do it.
(Skip the car ride back to LA)--
I pulled into the house that holds my boyfriend. My best friend. And my boys. God I missed them. Their craziness, but it also felt good to get out.
I walked through the door and was immediately bombed with question a free question.
Me: I went back to Ohio. I settled everything out that I needed to.
That was all I said before climbing into bed and falling asleep in a pair of very familiar arms.....
(The next morning)
I told Ashley everything. He nodded along and didn't get angry. Even after I told him what Kyle said.
We hugged and went down stairs to eat breakfast. I was still tired from traveling but I didn't care.
We ate and no one asked what I had to settle out. Which I was grateful for. But the whole time Callie looked a little... Off. She can't staring into space or looking at all of us as if she was scared of something. But all my questioning was put to rest when she said...
Callie: I'm pregnant.
CC: What?!
Callie: You're going to be a dad CC:...
CC: I AM?!
CC was bouncing around all happily. Ash and I stopped using protection nowadays. If I had a kid, it would be his. He told me that he was okay with being a dad so now we aren't trying to have one but if it happens then okay.
Ash hasn't tried to 'get it' for a few a couple of days. We don't really talk that much too. He knows I trying to figure out things.
I just don't know what I'm trying to figure out...
(Several weeks later)--
I haven't left my bed in three days. I've been eating once a day. I'm just not hungry and when I am I only eat a little bit.
Ash keeps trying to talk to me. To get me to eat more. He said I look skinnier.
Most of my time is devoted to staring at the ceiling and listening to audio books illegally.
Ashley shows affection towards me. I just don't feel the urge to show it back.
I don't feel the urge to do anything.
I scrolled through the books until one caught my eye. It was about ways to make life more enjoyable.
I listened to it in one day...
One thing was going over and over again in my head. Get a dog. We had crow. A cat should be enough. Right?
Wrong.
I got up in the middle of the night when I couldn't take it anymore. I told Ash I would be back in an hour and left the house to go to the closest pound.
When I arrived at the pound I knew I wanted a big dog. I told the man what I wanted and I fallowed him into the pound.
We walked by ten dogs before I found her. She was all black and she was a husky. I wanted her. For the first time in weeks I smiled.
Me: I'll take her.
???: $35.
I handed him the money and took the biggest dog you have ever seen into the back of the car.
We stopped by the pet store and I bought a bag of dog food, a leash, a food and water bowl, and a billion chew toys.
I was smiling all the way home. And when I walked in and work everyone up they all looked pissed.
Me: Meet the new BVB member!!!
They looked shocked.
Ash: You got a dog.
Andy: You got a dog?! Why didn't you tell us?!
Me: I wanted to feel happy again!!
Jinxx: Let it go Andy, even you said you missed the happy Dina.
James: If this is what it takes then I'm perfectly happy.
CC: it sooooo cuuuuuuuute!!
Me: Her name is Lilly. You will all love her and treat her with as respect as you do to Andys mom.
Callie: wow.
We all went quiet while I played with Lilly and we rolled around on the floor. She was a huge dog but still loved to cuddle.
I later on the couch and she laid on my legs as we watched tv and fell asleep.
(Two weeks later)--
I was back to my old self again. Lilly really helped me out and now I was meeting with the tour manager to discus the arrangements of our next tour, which will be in winter.
Me: Lilly's coming too.
Connor: Who's Lilly?
Me: It's the BVB dog. I can't feel happy without her. And you don't want the band to be sad when the perform because of me. Lilly's coming too.
Connor: Okay. Tell the boys they have three months.
Me: Will do sir.
I go back to the car where my black angel is. She barks happily at me an I smile. Lilly always sits in the front seat when it's just me. I even buckle her up.
I've been planing on going to the beach with the guys and Callie and Lilly. Lilly loves it outside.
When I pull in I get out and let Lilly out. I walk in and give Ashley a kiss on the cheek.
