90 days to love (COMPLETED)

90 days to love - Chapter 19 pt. i

Credits to @Appetence for my new amazing cover

It's an odd feeling. I'm screaming inside but they are not just normal shrieks; they are dripping with the burning torture that encroached through my mouth, down the tunnel of my oesophagus and into my unsuspecting lungs. Yet the people around me seem not to hear.

My body is convulsing more violently with every second that passes. However they don't notice. The people seem to think I'm unresponsive but I'm not. I'm not dead; I can feel my heart pulsating. I'm not insensitive; I can feel the bloody agony settling deep in my veins. And I'm most certainly not giving up; I will fight for my life until my last breath leaves my body.

The 'delirious nightmares of gummy bears and piranhas' phase ended a while ago. I'm sane now...I think. I feel completely alive and heightened to everything around me; I can hear and I can speak. There are only three problems though.

Firstly, I cannot see anything aside from memories. I'm trapped; detached from the real world in some sort of parallel memory universe.

Secondly, apart from my alert senses I don't actually have any proof I'm alive. I can hear the voices coming in from the outside but it's like there's a wall between me and them and I'm screaming to get out of this solitary prison.

Finally, though I can heed every word they utter on the other side, they cannot hear me. I'm not part of that world at the moment.

I feel a sharp poke in my left abdomen and sigh with relief. The soft morphine courses slowly through my veins making my aching ribs feel like they've been shot with pleasure. The intense flames that burn in my lungs are put out; like water to a raging fire. I feel another poke in my right arm and wait for another carnality of the morphine to flow through and ease me of my agony. However whatever I've been injected with, feels rougher and about a thousand times stronger than the morphine. It plows through my veins until I feel it reach my heart.

A shudder racks my whole body as my heart goes into overdrive; pumping blood to the farthest corners of my body. The cerise life force roars through my ears like a tsunami making contact with the ground. I scream as I feel my body begin to wake up and cross through the opaque barrier that separates my solitude from everything else.

The vile smell of the Leto is the first thing that enters my nose; their repulsive scent is indescribable. It must be like how Humans smelled to the Unicorns; intrusive and interfering. We had no right to meddle with them; no matter how the politicians spun the story, there was no doubt in my mind that we were at fault. We killed the species.

At least I know I'm still alive with the Leto. However, there is horrendous possibility that they've already eradicated my fellow Humans enters my mind; it could be my turn.

I inhale the precious oxygen repeatedly; savouring the normality it brings me. My body is plagued with a series of small shocks as the 2nd shot of medicine continues to pump up to my heart. My brain reconnects with the feelings of returning to where I should be, however with the return of my brain comes the return of the memories. Will he be here? Did the gas knock him out too? Maybe I shouldn't be too hopeful; maybe I should just hope he's still alive.

My eyes suddenly have a distinctive urge to open, they've been closed for too long. I'm apprehensive about unlocking my sight to the potential possibilities of what lies ahead. What are the Leto going to do with me now that I've returned? Jared and I failed. Will I even get to see him again or have I done enough already. It would be so much easier if I'd left him to die in that room; that way I would have died too, just moments after him. That is an advantage to being a Caritas; if your bond mate dies you don't have to live without them; the pain kills you too.