You Light Up My Life

My Precious Baby Mi-Eun

"Jonghyun, can I see our baby?" I asked him and Jonghyun looked at Dr. Lee. Thank goodness that Joon nodded. Jonghyun returned his look at me with a smile. "Yes, Bummie. You can see her." Jonghyun went out with Dr. Lee, telling me that they'll just call a nurse to prepare me out of the room. Jonghyun went back to the room with a wheelchair and two nurses to help me.

"Mr. Kim, at the count of three, we're going to carry you to the wheelchair." I nodded in response and they held my thighs and arms. "One, two... three.." The nurse counted and they successfully transferred me from the hospital bed to the wheelchair. Honestly, it still hurts since my wounds are still kinda fresh.

"If there's anything wrong, don't hesitate to call us, Mr. Kim." The nurses told us and left. "Jjong.. I'm excited to see our baby. I'm going to sing a song for her.." I said and Jonghyun pushed the wheelchair out of the room. "What room is she staying?"

"ICU. She's in ICU, Bummie." Hearing those words from him, I felt my heart dropped again. ICU are for those people who have acute illness. My tears fell down again as we entered the elevator. Jonghyun knelt down beside me and looked at me with his worried face. "Why are you crying again, Bummie?" He asked and wiped my tears. "It's my fault, Jjong. She's there because of me." I said to him and he held my hands tightly. "Stop blaming youself, Bummie. Mi-Eun will get through this. Trust me. Trust God."

As the elevator dinged, we went out and he pushed the wheelchair again to the information desk. "Kim Mi-Eun." Jonghyun told the nurses and they showed us the room. Before we could even go near her, the nurses gave us masks and gloves for protection. As we put it on their respective places, Jonghyun pushed me inside and I can clearly see a baby inside that cube. She's in an incubator and I swear, it's really pitiful to see her there. Jonghyun held my shoulders as he knew what will be my reaction. I took off one of my gloves and asked Jonghyun to go closer.

"Bummie, are you sure you want to hold her?" Jonghyun asked. "My touch.. she knows my touch. I gave birth to him, Jjong. She can feel me." I said and slowly touched my daughter's palm. It's so soft and tiny. I swear that I can hear Jonghyun sobbing behind me. How can he control his tears if his daughter is here, almost dying?

"Be strong, Mi-Eun. Umma is here to give you nice clothes and stuffs. We'll use Appa's blue wallet. Promise me, Mi-Eun.. Don't ever leave us, Arasso?" I whispered and kissed her small palm. I motioned Jonghyun to touch his daughter and he did. Jonghyun sang something for her. My heart felt so much pain to see both of them suffering. I wish she could survive this test. I have faith on my daughter. She can do it. She's strong like me. Yes, like me.