The Lego Batman Movie 2: Jokes On Me

Chapter 17

"Hey Joker, can you pass me the caramels?"

"Course Robin." The no-longer-a villian eaches over into Batman's lap and takes the bag of caramel candies, moving them over to Robin and placing them on his head.
Robin gives a cute grin, the bag settled comedically on his head and flattening his hair. "Thanks."

They were all sprawled out on the cushions in the Theatre Room. It was a Saturday. No school for Robin, no more scheming for Joker, and no need to battle the Joker for Batman. In fact, probably never again. The two were actually planning their entirely new lives. They were going to come out to the news as together, so they didn't have to worry about anything anymore. Except for one thing.

"So, where were you thinking of applying, Babe?" Batman directs his question to the Jokes.
Joker scoots close to Batman and lays his head on the man's thigh.
"I think a clothing store or a hair salon would be the best. But maybe the closest thing to home is better."

"You could always just be an artist if you want. We're set financially. Just express yourself, y'know? You're really good at that."
"Thanks Honey, but I think i want one of those kinda boring real jobs." He laughs and reaches up to take Batman's chin in his fingers, as they both lean towards eachother and give the other a quick kiss. They didn't want to get too frisky in front of Robin, but he doesn't seem to mind in the least.

"Hey Robin, how's school going?" Joker asks, turning up to look at the boy.
Robin blushes a bit, flattered at his interest. "Really good, actually. The teachers at the Orphanage really weren't that good, but now I'm learning so much about...everything! I love it."
"I'm glad for you Champ. I'm gonna need your brain to be as big as mine someday." Batman retorts, cockily knocking on his skull.
Joker giggles and nods. "It's true, Batman actually does have a very smart little brain up there. Not very attached to the body it's in though."
"Hey!"
Joker laughs, making Batman give a playful smirk.

"So....Jokes...."
"Yyyes, Batsy?"
"Do you wanna.....get that tattoo.....today?"
Joker gasps. "Today?! B-but I haven't done my hair yet, and it takes hours-"
"But it doesn't matter."
"And i have to iron out all my clothes-"
"You can just go in what you've got on."
"And don't even get me STARTED on the lipstick-"

Batman puts his finger over Joker's mouth, looking down at him.
"Babe, it's fine. You look great when your dressed lazy. If you don't have to impress me, you don't have to impress anybody else."

Joker's world seems widened as he processes this, and a hopeful look fills his eyes.
"Your right, Batman. Thank you." He pecks his chin and rolls out of his lover's lap, plopping on the floor before jumping up.

"Okay, let's go be in glorious pain!"

*******

"OOOOWWWWW!!!!"

Batman had to wrap his strong arms around the poor boy, who was starting to whimper.
"He's barely even started..."
"I know but it HHUURRTTSSSS!!!"
Batman rubs his back, looking at his pearly-white arm, a perfect light purple drawing of half of the bat-signal on the back of his forearm. He turns up Joker's head so they look into eachother's eyes.

"Hey. Want me to go first?"
Joker seems to weigh his options, before giving a shy nod.
"Is that okay? I don't want you to think-"
"I'de be glad to, Jokes."
He sits the green-haired man in his seat before plopping down and showing the tattooist the other half of the design.

"Draw that side on me so it lines up like this."
"Got it, Boss."
The tattooist has a female lacky bringing him anything he's asking for, while she loudly chews gum and blows bubbles. She eyes the two men, very aware of what's going on, and quietly very supportive.

As the drawing gets finished up, Batman reaches out for Joker's hand and the smaller man takes it happily, as they lace their fingers together and rely on the company. Batman takes a deep breath and bears it as the tattooist begins to put permanently on his body what will always be permanent in his heart.

After two hours, Batman's sweaty lip gets wiped by his hand, and they nicely seat Joker back down in the chair. Batman gives Joker the same attention the boy gave to him, and he is perfectly fufilled and inspired by Batman's commitment, sitting as still as possible. For about two minutes.

"I'M SORRY I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!"

Batman sighs, quietly amused. "Do you want them to numb you?"
Joker looks up, pained expression dropping into just dead realization. "They can do that?"
Batman nods. "Yeah." He peeks over at the tattooist, whom gladly nods, hoping to get this guy a little bit of peace.
Joker turns to him and nods. "Oh please yes I would like that a lot!!"

Batman sighs and takes Joker's hand, before giggling.
"What? What's so funny?"
Batman gestures to the 'tattoos' on Joker's arms. "So what are those then, Jokes?"
"Oh, completely fake. I spray-paint them on!"
Batman snickers, making Joker blush red and utter a soft 'hmph'.

"You have no idea how cute you are, do you?"
Joker turns back around to see Batman looking at him with.....that look.
"You think it's.....cute?"
"In every way. Adorable."
Joker gasps and squeals, leaning over to put his head on Batman's chest.

"Your so sweet to me, Batman."
"You deserve it, Jokes. I hope your still excited."
"Nothing excites me more than the thought of getting a mark of you on my body forever~"

The tattooist comes back with numbing needles, and they struggle just to help Joker get through the tiny stings of the needles.

After a few long hours, they finally turn Joker in his seat so he can see the beautiful crisp black and yellow half-Bat symbol on his arm. He just gazes at it, tears actually building up in the corners of his eyes, before he gives a joyous squeal. Batman smiles and comes over to him.

"Okay Jokes, they have to put a bandage over it now."
"What!? Why?? I just got it, I don't wanna cover it yet-"
"You have to keep it healthy and let your skin heal for a bit before you get to enjoy it. Cmon, just for a few days?"

Joker whines and looks at it again, studying it's every detail before looking to the tattooist and nodding.
"Okay. Whatever will keep it on me longer."