The Lego Batman Movie 2: Jokes On Me

Chapter 11

Barbara's hand is hovering over the phone, conflicting thoughts clouding her instinct. Should she call him? Should she do it in person? Should she just ask, or just tell him? She can't predict the outcome. She's never told somebody that SHE liked THEM.

Barbara can't pinpoint the exact day that she remembers Batman seeming to give up on trying to impress her. He was at it for what she thinks was about two months, and then suddenly their "platonic relationship" became just that; platonic. He stopped trying to flirt or hint or anything like that. And in the same stroke he became so much happier. Was he really seeing somebody else? She couldn't be sure, because he never talks about anybody in a romantic or intimate way. But he could just be hiding it.

How can you hide a relationship from someone else for so long?

Barbara decides that she just needs to suck it up and get some answers. She picks up the phone and holds it to her ear, dialing Bruce's number.

The phone rings three times before Barbara's ear is greeted with a click.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bruce, it's Barbara."
"Oh, Barbara! Um....yeah, what's up?"
"Well.......I was wondering.......what um......what made you stop trying to impress me?"
"Uhh...what do you mean?"
"Well, you used to....I don't know....flirt or try to be extra cool, like you thought it would make me think your cute or something.....not that I miss it! I don't! I was just......wondering?"

Batman seems to give a sigh, and clears his throat. Never a good sign.
"Barbara......I could see pretty quickly that you weren't interested in me as much as I was in you, so I......stopped. I gave up. I ran out of room to try. But it's okay. I'm......really really happy."

Barbara doesn't know if she's really really happy for him right back, or if she's really really jealous. Who could this other girl be? Isn't she probably some nobody? Who else has he known as well as Barbara? Maybe that's the problem; she's too close to him as a crime-fighter, so he can't feel that way about her. And most likely, he never will. Not again.

"Oh, I see. So, is there someone else that's keeping your heart at bay?"
She hears Bruce audibly intake breath, as if startled by her words.

"Well......I.......it's uh.........." He gulps and becomes deadly serious.
"Barb, I would tell you, but I don't know if your ready to hear it."
"Hear what? Hear who she is? I don't really mind if she's famous or not.....I just want to see you happy."

She can almost actually hear Bruce's white teeth scratch his rough lips, his mood not making her feel any better. Was he dating something that is just something never to tell people? Was he into Milfs? Prostitutes? Or worse.....younger girls?

"Really, don't worry about it Barbara. If......if all you're worried about is whether or not I'm happy, then don't even give it a second thought. I could try for a hundred years to find what I have, and I still wouldn't come close to the joy I've got right in front of me." Bruce's voice starts to get quieter; he's moving away from the phone.

Barbara is just about to say something, until she hears a giddy squeal come from the phone, muffled due to distance, but....it sounds so familiar. Like, SO familiar. Who's giggle could that possibly be?

Barbara sighs and sets the phone back down to hang it up, crossing her arms on the desk and plopping her head on them. She wanted some answers, and now she just has more questions.