The Lego Batman Movie 2: Jokes On Me

Chapter 4

Batman was once again staring into the microwave, waiting for the bag of popcorn to finish popping. Man, it's so loud. He never realized how loud the popcorn is, and even the microwave. Maybe it's just too quiet without Joker. Or Robin. He didn't think he liked, no needed, the company so much.

"Oh Batmaaann~!!" The echo flooded into the room, but before he could even really turn around to greet the familiar voice, he felt his two skinny arms snake around his waist, a smaller and much cuter body pressing up against him, planting a sweet kiss on the back of his neck. Sometimes this clown had no idea what he did to Batman.

"Hey Jokes. Um, we just put the big lazer in my trophy room a few days ago, so if you need to take it for spare parts, i can help you dismantle it."

"Oh yeah! We probably need to get started on the giant mechanical rats pretty soon. And sure, i'de love some extra help from a strong Burly man like you~" the Joker eagerly tugs at Batman's suit, just wishing it would pop right off.

Batman lets out a long, content sigh. "Joker. I'm glad your here. I think i was.....lonely, without some company."

"That's because you need a smaller Batcave, cutie. Too much open space is terrible for the heart. Tiny and cozy is what you need. Why dont we go upstairs, hm~? To your room?"

Batman stands in silence, before pushing "end" on the microwave and lifting the giddy clown into his arms.
"I thought you'de never ask."

*****

Joker huffs in joy and rolls over onto his back from his side, his bare chest so amazingly warm under Batman's sheets. He looks over at the man, without the outfit, and Joker will never tire of seeing that handsome face looking back at him, whether it be in delirious joy or a deep brood. He turns back up again to the ceiling, putting his hands behind his head.

Batman lay quiet, too satisfied to need to say anything else. After he regains his energy he leans over to the skinny, giddy clown and kisses his cheek, as his own cheeks and body are covered in red lipstick kisses.
"I'm gonna take a shower. But let's talk when i get out. I've got something important on my mind."
The Joker leans back up to him and takes one hand from behind his head, cupping Bruce's chin and giving a casual wink. "Anything for you, Batman. I'll be waiting~"

Bruce smiles and happily struts off into the bathroom, closing the door and starting up a shower.

The Joker just starts to think. About everything. About how lucky he is that instead of Batman being.....stuck in society's norms, and clinging to someone who doesn't see how great he is, he moved on to someone who's always been there to support him, and respect him, and give him purpose, and someone who will always return his affections. He's lucky that he has stayed loyal for what feels like so long. Sure, Batman likes to "fight around", but as lovers, they've both been entirely exclusive.

Joker thinks how hard it must be for Bruce to reject all the offers to go to parties with beautiful women all around him, desperate for attention, just like him. But it doesn't seem to bother Bruce. He seems to have no problem finding a way to nicely dismiss the need to go to such parties, or talk about a partner at all. Of course Joker wants to scream about his lover to the ends of the earth. But if its so easy for Bruce to stay so loyal to little ol' Jokes, then he sure won't have any trouble thanking his lucky stars for such a perfect partner.

Finally, the sound of water stops and not long after Bruce emerges from the room, a towel tied around his hips and another hanging around his neck. He comes to the bed and sits on the end of it next to the Joker, prompting the smaller man to sit up and move closer, his green and purple briefs the only thing on his body.
Bruce takes in a firm breath and clings his gaze with Jokers'.

"I want you......to be Robin's second father."

The clown blushes. "W-w-w-what?! Wait, really?? But, what does that mean....?"
"I'm going to tell Robin that you're.....special to me. More special than anyone i've ever known other than Alfred and him. That you're.....my other half. And that he'll be seeing a lot more of you. As long as your okay with it..........so.....are you?"

Joker can't bother trying to wipe away the niagra falls of tears streaming down his face. "OH BATMAN!!" He leaps forward and pounces onto his lover, locking him in a passionate hug. "I.....i don't know what to say!! Um.....but i think it's yes. Right? That's what your looking for? Yes? Yes. Yes, YES!! Batman~!" Once again he starts covering Bruce in lipstick kisses and tears of joy, prompting a laugh that's just as emotional from him.
"Calm down there babe, i just took a shower." He scoops the green-haired fool into his arms and sets him in his lap, planting kisses on his cheek right back.

"And hey, maybe Robin already-"

"Dad? Are you in there? I wanna talk to you about something...." Robin's voice calls muffled through the door.

Bruce gasps quietly and sighs, looking at Joker for his opinion. Joker puts his hand to Batman's face.

"It's okay. Let him in. Let's do it today, yeah? Then he'll only have more time to adjust."
Batman smiles that gracious grin again and leans down, kissing Joker tenderly on the lips. "You always know what's best." He lifts his head. "Yeah Robin, just give me a minute to get changed."

Both Joker and Batman dress fully, and tidy up the room. As a pair, they stroll to the door and swing it open. Robin makes eye contact with Bruce first, but suddenly jumps out of his skin when he sees...
"T-the Joker?! B-but-???"

"Sit down Robin. This might be hard to tell you, but we've got something we want to talk to you about too."