Nothing Is Forever [COMPLETE]

Chapter 90: Mending Old Memories

"Tony, are you sure you aren't bisexual?!" I joked

"Not really," he laughed nervously, "I could be—"

"So how do you know you're gay?"

"I just assumed..." he trailed off.

"Why...?" I asked cautiously, trying not to venture too deep into his personal life.

He turned his head away from me and looked down at his phone.

"I'm sorry I asked Tony... We don't have to talk about it—"

"Just give me a second," he sighed, placing his head in his hands.

I put my hand on his shoulder and ran my fingers through his hair. He looked up at me and grabbed my hand.

"I'm about to tell you something that no one knows except my dad... and he doesn't even care..."

His eyes were glistening and I could tell that he was trying to hold back a multitude of emotions. The pain was eating him up inside, and I knew that no matter how hard it was, it was something he needed to talk about.

"You can tell me anything Tony," I insisted, "Over these past few weeks, you've become my best friend.  You were there when I needed someone, and I plan to do the same for you..."

"I... My football coach..." he took a deep breath and gripped my hand tighter, "When I was younger, my dad hired this guy to train me to play football. He had known this guy since high school, and he had been a big part in my life since I was born... The older I got, the more physical he got. When I was around 15, he reached his full peak of what I guess you'd say was abuse—"

"I'm sorry Tony," I replied, focusing intensely on his story.

"I would go home with marks on my body, and I would try to tell my dad, but he said if I couldn't take the pain of football, then I was a disgrace to him and the family... He didn't understand that his friend was the one beating me, not the other guys at football practice. We had pretty much stopped having private sessions like we used to when I was a kid because I was in high school and he was the coach, but some days, if he felt like I needed more work – or beating someone – he would come over and 'train' me."

Tony sighed and looked down at the floor, letting go of my hand. I frowned and put my hand on his back.

"I didn't think anything of it when he said he wanted to come inside... Mom and dad were at work, and it was hot outside. I wanted to go inside too... He opened a bottle of their whiskey, sat on the couch to watch football plays, and ordered me to sit with him. I did what he said, because I was obviously scared of him, and I didn't know what would happen if I didn't, since he was drinking. Do you know what it's like to be scared to go in your own house?"

"Tony... I can't say that I do, but I understand why you try to spend as much time away from home as possible... I'm sorry all of this happened to you... You're a great guy and you didn't deserve any of this—"

"That's the thing. They brainwashed me to think I did..." he forced a smile and looked over at me, "Anyway... I got up to go to my room, because I was tired of watching television. He asked where I was going, and followed me. I tried to run into my room before he caught me, but he was too fast. He pinned me to the bed and told me to take off my clothes. I just assumed he was going to beat me, except he didn't. He took off his clothes too, and I just sat there... confused and scared. I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell for help, but when I did... he just made it worse..."

I pulled my hand away from him, and couldn't believe what I was hearing. I watched as tears fell from his eyes.

"I told my dad, but he didn't do anything about it. He just insisted that if I told mom, he would beat me himself... It went on like that for a while. Anytime he could get to me, he would. It got to the point where I didn't take showers around other guys in the locker rooms. Everyone was always like, 'Tony! Let's hang out after school,' and I would have to make up some excuse about getting extra 'training,' when in reality I was just going for one of my weekly rape sessions—"

"Tony—"

I reached out for his hand, but he jerked away.

"Don't... It's fine... I just assume I'm gay because I can't think of having a relationship with anyone. Physical contact scares me, and the only person I've been with is a guy—"

"Not by your own will though... Tony just because you were raped, that doesn't mean your gay—"

"Yeah but it's easier that way. When people look at me and ask why I'm a jock over twenty who still has his virginity, it's just easier to say that I'm gay... You may not realize it, but you're the only person I've been able to touch and still keep my sanity with in a long time..."

He offered his hand to me and I looked into his eyes to make sure it was ok. He smiled and I grasped his hand tightly. I was just about to say something when I saw Tony's facial expression flash in an instant. I turned around quickly to see who it was.

"Savannah?!"

This was gonna be a long flight...

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First class seats in British Airways