command [joffrey baratheon]

[27] the final problem

The king was dead. Joffrey had fallen and every guest of the wedding was a witness.

I was a widow. My wedding day was supposed to become the best day of both our lives and from one second to another every thought of our future, ruling together, had been shattered.

I was still standing there while they covered his body in a blanket and carried him away. I was still there when everyone else had already left.

My legs were hurting. My head was hurting. Simply existing hurt. Knowing I would never be able to kiss him again. Never feel his touch again or hear his voice. Everthing had happened so fast. Too fast.

What would happen now?
Would I have to marry again?
Was I supposed to rule alone?
Would Margaery become queen because Tommen was the next Baratheon heir?
I didn't know.

The majority of my family hated me and no Joffrey was their to defend me or the children.
The children , I thought.
Meela and Devon were so young, so innocent. The only two living things of my husband that were left in this world.

I slowly realised that we were not safe anymore. Or anywhere. Travelling back to King's Landing would not save the widow and children of the king everyone was deeply hating. They would want revenge.

I started running away from the empty wedding location, away from everything that happened within a few seconds.
Joffrey's face, covered in blood, intiated purple because of the poison.

Tyrion Lannister had poisened my beloved king. There was no doubt, Joff had pointed at him in the last few seconds before he died. I thought he was smarter than that, killing with about 400 witnesses nearby.

I finally arrived at the room where Devon and Meela peacefully slept and sent the handmaidens away.

"Where have you been, your grace? We were waiting all day, we were so worried!", one of them told me.

"Please, just...leave.", I told her and was struggling with holding back my tears. 

"M'lady, we are supposed to-"
"PLEASE!", I cried out loud.

Every one of the three handmaidens immediately stopped doing what they were doing and left as fast as possible.

I rest my arms upon one of the babie's beds and started to burst into tears.
I kept replaying the whole day. How it started with the breakfast and all the presents, a happy couple, king and queen and suddenly it were only the children, me, one corpse and more happy then sad people all over the country.

The pain didn't want to leave my body, so I made a decision.
I didn't want a life, one that I would get into now. I couldn't grow old in a world where I had to fear about my twin's and my own life all the time.

I took each one of the babies in one arm, covered in a blanket. They were asleep. So peaceful. Free of worries, having no idea their father had just died.

I started singing a good night song while I carried them out of the castle.
The sky was pitch black, it was a clear night. The stars guided my way.

All the king's guards were gone, except for one or two on the big gate. Cersei had probably commanded all of them to keep an eye on Lord Tyrion.

I was standing at the big gate when one of the guards spoke up.
"Queen regent Cersei commanded to keep everyone in the city."

"Are you blind? I am the queen. Wife of...king Joffrey and I am here with the rightful heirs of the Iron Throne. Leave me through. I want to confer an honor on their passed away father."

"I can't, my queen I am sorry. I got my commands and I am following them."
"If Joffrey was here he would have been cutting your head off, with one hit. Very clean and fast.", I caught myself thinking about what I just said and thought that Joffrey would have probably been commanding someone else to to that but the guards didn't have to know. 
"By marrying the king in the great sept of Baelor, I am officially the queen and empowerey to command you anything I want to and I said : Open. The. Gate."

The guard was thinking, he looked to the other guards and finally said. "Yes, your grace."

They opened the gate and let us through.
I kept walking until I heard the sound of water. I kept walking until I got to the place, close to the harbour, where Joffrey had saved me once when I was nearly drowning.

"I know you weren't a great person. Neither great, nor grateful, or loving. I know you could never love me in a way I was able to love you. You made me a lot stronger than I thought I would be. More independent and you gave me these beautiful, beautiful children. We were so young and in our life was so much more to happen. Thank you for everything, your grace. In this life our love wasn't forever, but it will be, it will be in our next one."

I stepped closer to the edge, stony beach under my shoes.
My wedding dress was already wet on the lower edge.

"So I'm coming to you.", I whispered and kissed Devon and Meela on their foreheads before I started walking into the deep water with them.

Sinking into safety. Being pulled down by the thick cotton of my dress.
And for only just a second I could see his hand on the surface of the water, reaching out for mine again, just like in the past.

But I forced myself to look down again, holding my children close to my heart and smiling with my last breath I would ever take, because I was with him, again.

The End