[10] first kiss

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He asked me again, if I had anything I needed, before he and Ser Meryn wanted to leave for their hunting trip.

"I'm going to bring you the head of the biggest boar I'll shoot.", Joffreys eyes lit up as they met mine.

"Yes, please! You are so brave to hunt something that killed your father.", I comforted him.

"I know, I know. A king has to be brave. My father was...old. I can easily kill one of those.", he said proudly and lifted up his chin a bit.

"Be careful.", I told him, breaking the awkward silence. We basically just stood in front of his chamber and he stared at me, but didn't leave.

"I am the king. The things I am hunting should be careful, not me. Don't be afraid, my beautiful lady.", he said gently, I didn't expect him to be so warmly.

I kept smiling at him shyly, politely. And then suddenly he put his hand on my neck and pulled me closer to him. I felt his cold armour on my cheek, when his lips were gently pushed onto mine. The kiss was over as fast as it had begun. I couldn't do anything but smiling.

"You're mine. Don't forget that.", he determinately said to me, before he turned around and left.

So, this had been my first kiss, I thought. Never in my life I would have been thinking the king of the Seven Kingdoms was the first one who'd kiss me.

Well, I had planned not to have feelings for him, but slowly I realised that it didn't work out as good as I expected it to.

Why did he even kiss me? He was only kind of meant to on our wedding day. Joffrey was focused on the profit for him and connecting or families was one. But he didn't have to spend time with me, especially not before the wedding even started. Maybe he just wanted to make the best out of it. Just like I wanted to.

I started to wonder how everything would be after our wedding, but then I started to worry. After our wedding meant for me to share his bed. To provide him with children. What if something was wrong with me? What if I failed giving birth to his children?

The negative feeling started to crawl into my entire body, just like poison it made me feel ill and weak. I didn't want to fail at anything.

I blustered into the worries and started to breathe heavily. Inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling.

"Excuse me? Something might be wrong with my dress.", I heckled as loud as I could, hoping someone would hear me. Nobody was there to hear me. I was still in front of Joffrey's chamber, at least not far away from it and no one was standing around me.

I forced myself to walk back to my own chamber, where were all the guards when a lady needed help? I started to notice my dress was truly too tight, it wasn't my worries fault.

Did all the strong men in their armours went on the hunting trip, to protect the king?

"Handmaiden?", I asked. My rose dress felt heavier with every step I took. No handmaiden was to be found, no one.

I finally reached my chamber, when I thought my life would end within a second. I was breathing out one last time, heckling for help again, before I broke down on the floor.

"Oh no!", I heard my new handmaiden screaming, before she picked me up and carried me over to my bed.

"The dress", I mumbled.

I heard the sound of a blade cutting cotton, followed by feeling fresh air in my lungs.

I needed a few minutes to breathe normally again. "Why was my dress so tight? Did you even know what you were doing? It almost killed me!", I screamed at my handmaiden.

As polite and forgiving as I was, I was nearly choked on it, blaming her stupidity and ineptitude.

She apologized and apologized. "Please forgive my clumsiness. I'll never to it again, I swear it! I will be more careful."

Hearing her begging for mercy on the floor made me feel two different emotions. On one side I felt sorry for her, on the other side I liked how much power I had.

"Of course you'll never do it again. Wait until the king hears what you nearly did. I suppose he is not amused.", I told her and the feeling of being mighty drowned my pity.

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