command [joffrey baratheon]

[23] the prince is coming

Days and weeks went by and my pregnancy was visible more and more.  Every morning some servant came to salve my stomach. I heard some of the servants gossiping when they had left the door open after leaving.

My baby bump was too big for my amount of months. I would carry a monster inside of me and it would kill me when I gave birth to it, they said. I kept telling myself I was healthy and fine but I was afraid despite my positive thoughts.

Cersei wanted to speak me one day, giving me a few advices. We greeted ourselves with cheek kisses. I noticed her beautiful blonde Lannister hair again and immediately felt less beautiful than her.

I sat down in front of her and she handed me a glass of wine.

"Joffrey has always been difficult.", she begun.

"I fear I don't understand what you mean. He is to be my husband and I couldn't wish for a better one.", I replied.

"Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean, little dove. Even at his birth I layed a day and a half to bring him into this world. You can not imagine the pain. I screamed to loudly I was sure Robert heard me in the King's Wood."

"King Robert was not at your side when you gave birth?", I asked, swallowing.

"Whenever my time was near my royal husband would flee to the trees with his huntsman and his hounds. And when he returned he presented me felts or a stag's head and I welcomed him with a baby. It's not that I wanted him there. I had grandmaester Pycelle, an army of midwives and my brother. When they forbid Jaime to be in the birthing room he asked which one of them was supposed to keep him out. Joffrey will not show you such devotion."

"I....I don't expect that from his grace, as long as he can do what he enjoys, it may be hunting, he can do it. Giving birth to our children is my work, not his.", I told her, trying to sound organized and less helpless.

"You're trying so desperately hard, aren't you, dove? I know Joffrey is not an easy boy.", Cersei smiled at me, like she felt sorry.

I remembered the times he had hit me and screamed at me. Joffrey wasn't an easy person indeed. But who was it in our world?

"You might never be able to love the king. But you will love his children.", Joffrey's mother went on.

"I love the king with all my heart, I promise it!", I tried to make her believe my words.

"Of course you do...let me share some wisdom with you, before you are having your very special day. The more people you love the weaker you are. Love no one but your children.On that front a mother has no choice." , she seriously looked at me.

"But...shouldn't I love Joffrey as well, you grace?"

"You can try."

I didn't need to try, I loved him anyway. But arguing with a woman like Cersei didn't work as good as arguing with one of my handmaiden.

I realised that I was looking up to her. She had gone through so much, so much pain and loss of her husband. And everyone was gossiping behind her back, just as my family and servants did about me.

"Your grace?", I asked her. She looked at me again. "I want to become as beautiful and strong as you."

Her face looked sad and her smile faked despite my compliment.
A few minutes later I left.

 I enjoyed every breath of fresh air, because I often felt sick in that period of time. The only times Joffrey came to see me where the ones when we had breakfast or dinner. He just told me that he was very busy all the time, ruling an protecting his kingdom. I missed him. I started thinking whether my baby bump disgusted him or he didn't like me anymore. Or maybe he even got bored.

I suddenly felt a massive pain in my womb. As if thousands of needles would cut into my guts again and again, I fell onto my knees. Luckily Joffrey would never let me go outside without guards and handmaidens anymore, so they tried to help me up again. I went into labour.

"The prince is coming!", I heard one handmaiden screaming and barely noticed how the started to carry me away. The pain took over and darkness surrounded me.