Would you look at that...I actually have a heart (Andy Biersack Fanfic)

Chapter 10: Lorelai and a HUGE mistake

  Life.....what does it mean to you? Is it the reason we are all broken, or the reason were all fixed? Who knows, all I know, is I hate it, but I love it at the same time. The feeling of living....it's....it's something so addicting that we all love it. But on the other hand, it's like a roller coaster, it still has it's scary parts, where you just want to scream and get off. But it doesn't work that way, you have to make it all the way to the end of the ride. Some people, they jump off, right into their doom. Though, some don't get the chance to take their restraints off in time. I think this is a perfect example of what life is. Though I won't deny, I love life and it's unsolved mysteries. My favorite, well that's love. Love is one of the worlds most wonderful wonders. No one can really ever describe it perfectly, though we all yearn the feel of it. Especially me......Though I question, have I found love yet? Andy he makes my heart beat every time I see his glorious smile, when ever he holds me I feel like i'm going to explode into a million hearts, when I look into his eyes I feel his emotions, I feel him. Just everything about him is perfect in my eyes. He's just, so perfect. Though we all have our flaws, I can't seem to find one flaw on him. But, i'm pretty sure other people have, I haven't. Is it because I feel something stronger for him then they do or something? The world may never know, I guess were just going to find out when the time comes, now aren't we?
I sat here next to Loralie sleeping. She had woken up from her coma about an hour ago. She was watching TV, and sad thing was that she couldn't talk. Which right now, scares both her and me. She put's her life into her singing, without it, without her voice, she's just a shell. Well, she will be if she can't ever sing or talk again. That's like taking her mother or father away from her, that's her life. But I know that she'll be able to talk again soon. And we have good news. The doctor said, that who ever diagnosed her with lung cancer when she was little got the wrong diagnoses. She doesn't have lung cancer, she has asthma. And when she hyperventilates it doesn't really help any. That was a HUGE relief for all of us and it seemed to take some tension off her shoulders. I believe the doctor said she would be able to get out tomorrow but she won't be able to talk or sing for at least a week to give her lungs a rest. Which is fine by her, our next gig is at a BIG high school party and that's in two weeks. So were good for now. Oh yeah, I think I failed to mention a while back I quit my job. I couldn't stand the people that I worked with. They were always pressuring me to do things, and they would always ask me to take their shifts, though after a while I started refusing to take people's shifts, so they started being asses to me so I stopped working there. I'm going to have to find a new job sooner or later because I have to help pay bills. So that's just an addition of crap on my shoulder.
A notebook was shoved into my hand and I looked down to see something scribbled onto it. 'What's on your mind?' I looked up at her and smiled, handing her back the notebook. I propped my elbow on the arm of the chair and rested my head against it. "Just a lot of stuff Loralie, nothing you need to worry about." She frowned and I watched her as she wrote something down and handed me the notebook. 'It's Andy isn't it?....And work, but mostly Andy.' I looked up at her with a little shock in my eyes. How did she know? I handed it back to her once again. I sighed, "Yeah, you're right. It's just a long story. And work is fine, I just need to find a new job." She passed me her notebook, 'I have time, so less work talk. Tell me all what happened with you and Andy while I was in this amazing wonderland.' I giggled and she took it from me. "Well, it's kinda hard to explain but, I think I feel something stronger than friendship for him. I mean he even said that he felt the same. I'm not sure if it's just a like or more than that...like love. It's so confusing, I've never really felt something like this before. I mean when we kissed it what just like fireworks going everywhere. And I thought that was just in books and movies, but it's not. It was...amazing. Haha, it's silly of me to be thinking like this. But, I just can't help it Loralie, it's an emotion I can't just forget about that easily. Ugh, my brain hurts." I heard a laugh escape her lips and I looked up at her with wide eyes. She was leaning over, staring at me. "Star, these things happen. Your only human, so don't stress yourself over it, alright? I was the same way when I first confessed to Zack, but here we are in a happy relationship. Here how about this, tomorrow, when I get out of this retched hell whole we'll go do something, just the two of us. Like old times. No thinking of boys, or work, or anything but fun. K?" I was a little in shock that she was speaking, sometimes I question if that girls is even human. All I could do was nod and smile at her. "Sound's good to me." We both smiled.
Later on, there was a knock at the door and I muttered a whispered 'come in' considering Loralie was asleep. To my surprise Zack came in. He doesn't know that she doesn't have lung cancer but has asthma. So I thought he would barricade himself in his room until she got out tomorrow, guess not. I smiled at him and he sat in the chair next to me, laying his head on my shoulder. "Is she going to be alright?" I hugged his head making him giggle, "Yeah, but I think she would like to tell you what's going on herself. She should be awake soon, she just wanted to take a nap." His head snapped up, "She woke up?!" I shushed him. "Yes, she woke up from her coma a couple hours ago. She's fine, so no more worrying, k?" I pulled him into a hug. I worry about him as well. He seems to really love Loralie. "Alright, and by the way. Your little Andy has been worried sick about you. Apparently you forgot to leave a note or something to where you were going so he's freaking out." I laughed, I didn't think Andy would really worry about where i'm at. I do have a life, and a friend in the hospital. I wonder if he even decided to stop and think about that. "I don't see why he should be worrying about me so much, i'm fine. Did he even stop and think that maybe I was at the hospital?" "Yeah, that's one of the reason's why I came. He's a little busy so I decided to check if you were here and to come see Loralie." "You really love her don't you?" He stared at the floor for a little bit, fiddling with his thumbs. "Y-yeah, I do. I didn't think I could ever feel this way for someone, but I truly love her. She told me how she's always had a crush on me. I've always had a crush on her to, but I didn't think that she would feel the same way. I was scared if I asked her out that she would reject me and tell me she only thought of me as a friend.
"Oh Zack, you're way to innocent." He glared at me and I laughed. "Well, you shouldn't be talking. I saw you and Andy the other day in your room." My eyes widened, I never noticed him in the doorway. Damn. "Y-yeah, w-well, i-it, i-it didn't mean anything. We, uh, we barely even know each other anyways. I wasn't planning on g-getting in a relationship with him. He deserves the whole world, and I would only able to give him part." There was silence for a bit until I hears shuffling and I looked over at the door way to see Andy on the brink of tears as he storms out. "Wait Andy!" Oh no....