The Many Ways to Show Love

Winner (Ciel x Reader)

Anime = Black Butler

(A/N: This was requested by HarryPotter049071  This is also a songfic. The song is "Winner" by Ellie Goulding)

Let's call it a day, babe

I think I know what you're trying to say

You smiled at him sadly while caressing his cheek. He looked away, obviously embarrassed. "It's okay Ciel. I understand." He blushed harder. "A-are you sure..? I feel bad..." You nodded. "It's fine. I'll be back tomorrow for our usual game of chess?" You said, maintaining a cheerful composure while you knew that the moment you'd get back to your estate you'd lay down on your bed and sob your heart out. Ciel smiled at you. "I'd like that." You felt your heart flutter. Maybe you still had a chance... No, that was silly.   

Honey, it's fair play

Why try to win when I know I've lost?

You never mentioned it. You never even tried to win over his heart. You knew it belonged to Lizzie. His cousin. His fiancé. She also happened to be your best friend. So you smiled and congratulated her whenever she was happy about a small sign of affection to her from said earl.

We don't have to spell it

I think I know what you're trying to say

Ciel tried to explain himself to you numerous times, each time getting too nervous. You just laughed it off, knowing what he was trying to tell you. You already knew. He didn't have to tell you that he was in love with Lizzie. You saw it in the way that his eyes lit up whenever you mentioned her.  

Just 'cause I think this could break me

It doesn't mean that it will at all

You stayed strong because you knew that although you thought that the pain would be unbearable once they go married, it might not be. You might be able to pick yourself right up and move on. Maybe you could even work up the courage to accept Alois Trancy's invitation to have tea at his estate one day. Maybe you would be able to be happy, even though the love of your life is in love with your best friend.

Love to the lovers

Hate to the haters

Even though day your heart broke down, you still strived to be compassionate. You were kind to everyone you met, unless they were unnecessarily rude to you. You wanted to be the opposite of Ciel Phantomhive, never shielding yourself from the world. In you opinion, that was the only way you stayed sane. Concentrating on other's happiness, because you knew that it would never happen for you.  

Love to you, babe

Do what you have to

You still loved him. He broke your heart everyday, and yet you still showed up everyday to play chess with him. It was those small moments alone with him that made you happy. You understood that he wanted to be happy. You put his happiness above your own. You were happy knowing that he at least enjoyed you company.

What a shame

What a loss

You were well aware of the fact that all of the aristocracy would gossip about you and your hopelessness. They all would comfort you, telling you that you deserve someone better than the Earl Phantomhive, the one that supposedly made a contract with a demon. The Queen's Guard Dog. But you still knew that no matter what they said, Ciel would be the only one for you. 

The winner takes

She takes it all

Lizzie was the luckiest girl in the world. She had the man who had stolen your heart. You knew that she wasn't aware of your feelings, but then again, you had never told her because you had thought that she would consider it a betrayal. Silly, yes, but you knew that she was after all engaged to him. It wasn't fair for her to break off her love just because of your ill-placed crush.

What a shame

What a loss

You had finally realized how incredibly sad this whole situation is. It was like a opera, or one of Shakespeare's famous plays. Every night you would cry yourself to sleep and in the morning go right to the person who was he cause of your torture. You knew that you should stop tormenting yourself, and just stop seeing him, but that would be cruel. Too cruel to do to him, Ciel, who's entire family had left him without a explanation.

But I can see why

'Cause she's beautiful

You never questioned why he loved her. You always knew that your friend was beautiful in everyway. In way, you were happy that she had found Ciel before some old Duke had taken advantge of her sweet innocence. She was perfect, and so you never thought ill about yourself. Lizzie was spectacular.  

What a defeat

To say the least

You had never even had a chance. You knew this in your heart, and yet still plastered a smile over your pretty face, hoping beyond hope. He had been in love before he even met you, and you had never known love before you met him. It was impossible.   

But thank God

The love is free

You found  yourself thanking God every morning that you could love Ciel without him having to love you back. It was painful, but at least you could love him with all of your heart without having to pay a price.  

And maybe it's good for you

It's good for me

It was time to move on. You needed to get over you first love, because if you didn't you would never get past the intial stages of love, admiring from a far and feeling like a adolescant teen. You were patheticlly depressed, but at least he was happy.