Choosing You

Chapter 25: Let me love you

Draft - Ene 22, 2017

 Chapter 25: Let me love you

OLI

"Ayos ka lang ba Oli?" saka nilingon ang nag salita. She smiles at me so I smile back and nod. Pero sa totoo lang I want to say I am not. That I am distratructed for almost a week now at hindi ako makapag isip ng tama.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ng yari, kung paano nag simula. Bakit hindi ko nakita? Bakit hindi ko napansin yun? I cannot believe it! I cannot believe that Jillian is inlove with me! Pero mali! Mali yung nararamdaman niya, we are friends. We are best friends! Baka confused lang siya. Baka dahil hindi kami masyadong nag kakasama and she miss me kaya feeling niya mahal niya ko. d@mn! She cannot fall for me! This is not happening!

"I do not think you are okay. You want to go home?" Naka ngiti nitong sabi pero ramdam ko yung lungkot at pang hihinayang sa boses nito.

"I'm really sorry." Hingi ko ng tawad sa kanya. I know how much effort ang binigay niya para lang dito sa picnic namin. But here I am, distructed at malayo at iba ang iniisip. I wish I can just forget what just happened few days ago pero hindi ko magawa. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face looking at me directly into my eyes and every words she utter feels like she's talking to my soul. Paulit ulit kong naririnig sa utak ko yung sinabi niya.

"It's okay, Oli. But do you mind telling me bakit wala ka sa sarili mo nitong mga nakaraang araw?" I heard her ask kaya napalingon ako sa kanya. "Don't get me wrong. Pero pansin na pansin ko kasi na wala ka sa sarili mo. Is this something to do with your last activity?"

I gave her a half smile. I cannot tell her yet. Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sa kanya yung ngyari between me and Jillian. Ayokong maging iba ang tingin niya dito. Ayokong mag worry siya sa kahit anong bagay.

"I understand." Sabi nito saka tumayo at tumingin sa akin ng naka ngiti "You may not able to share it right now. But I hope maging okay ka. Maging okay ang lahat." Ramdam ko ang sincerity sa boses niya and somehow I am thankful for EJ's patience. She never push something na alam niyang hindi ako handang sabihin sa kanya. She just wait until I am ready.

"Thank you." I smile at her and for the first time after few days I know its real.

Mabilis naman siyang lumapit at niyakap ako "You don't have to." Mas lalong hindi ko papigilan ang mapangiti habang yakap niya ako. I cannot deny the fact that every time na yakap niya ako. I feel safe. Pakiramdam ko she's putting everything back together. Pakiramdam ko pag yakap niya ko kompleto at buo ako. "Tara, ihahatid na kita. I think you mas okay if you will go home and rest." She said saka umalis sa pag kakayakap sa akin at tumayo and extend her arms to help me to stand na agad ko namang tinanggap. Ng maka tayo na ako she immediately interwine her hands to mine and kiss my hand and honestly and I am so sure I blushed on what she did dahil nakaramdam ako ng kilig sa ginawa niya. "Always remember that I am just here. Okay?"

Tango lang ang naging sagot ko.

"Good." Sabi niya saka ngumiti at sabay kaming nag lakad papunta sa sasakyan niya.

"She looks familiar." Rinig kong sabi as I enter the house kaya mabilis kong iginala ang paningin ko kung saan ng galing ang boses and I see my mom habang naka sandal sa may glassdoor namin. Nagulat ako ng makita ko siya dito sa bahay. Simula kasi ng nawala si Dad iilang beses ko lang siyang nakikita dito. Mula noon I never feel her presence.

"I didn't know you'll be home early." I said, as if I didn't not hear her.

"Who is she?" I heard her ask.

I stop and answered "Schoolmate." Its not totally lie since schoolmate naman talaga kami ni EJ. But I cannot tell her yet. I cannot tell her that I am in lovewith a girl.