Heaven On Earth

Fourteen|Conquerer

What was he going to do?

***

Phil was sat on Dan's couch, watching Supernatural (duh), when he felt the familiar woosh of someone teleporting blow back his hair the slightest bit.

He looked over to see a naked Pj in the middle of Dan's living room, his eyes wide and modesty destroyed.

"Well, this is certainly new," Phil commented, not affected by the naked angel at all. To him, it was just Pj without clothes. Nothing weird and nothing sexual.

"Phil, I have a problem," Pj said, wincing a bit as he walked over to him.

"Why are you limping?" Phil asked, confused on how he was hurt.

"That's exactly the issue!" Pj said.

"Do you want me to heal you? Where is the pain?" Phil asked helpfully.

Pj bit his lip, shaking his head, "I'd really rather not have you heal me where it hurts, thanks."

"How did you injure yourself?" Phil asked, "You must know that you seem quite strange. Nude and limping in my missions living room."

"Phil..." Pj began, "I...had sex."

And the look on Phil's face resembled one of a shook meme, his eyes wide and mouth agape. Phil was never really this surprised, but now he sat in shock, not knowing how to react.

What sort of angel has anal sex?

"Pj, you must be joking!" Phil exclaimed, "Angels don't want sex! Were you raped? And how is that possible when you can teleport, and are a lot stronger than a human? How could this happen? Rape is-"

"It was consensual!" Pj yelled, to stop Phil's worried rambling.

Phil gasped again, "My god, you're going to hell."

Pj's eyes widened, "Phil! I came to you for help! I don't know what to do! I don't know how I'm feeling except for the pain in my ass, and then the actual pain in my ass! I don't want to be a human, Phil! I'll be shamed forever!"

"Pj, why did you do it?" Phil asked.

"I don't know," Pj said, "Because I wanted it?"

"YOU WANTED IT?" Phil asked.

"What part of consensual do you not understand?!"

"The consensual part! Who did you let hurt you, Pj? Who did you participate in these homosexual lewd activities with?"

Pj scratched the back of his neck nervously, biting his lip, "It's a long story."

"I have time," Phil said casually.

Pj groaned, rolling his eyes, "I fucked Chris, alright? The most wanted demon in all of Heaven! You know, the one I was supposed to kill but ended up crawling into bed with? THAT CHRIS! And he's probably limping as much as me right now, if that makes it any better!"

Phil's eyes got impossibly wider, "You whore!"

"Phil!" Pj said with wider eyes, "Not! helping!

"My apologies, Pj," Phil said, "But I can't help you. I don't know anything about human intercourse rules. Or in your case, demon intercourse rules."

"Please help me, Phil. I'll be in so much trouble with Heaven if I go back! They've probably already seen what I've done. I woke up this morning confused and naked, and alone in a foreign space. Angels can't even sleep! I'm so scared of what's going to happen to me, and I'm feeling things I've never felt before!"

Phil nodded, unable to turn down a cry for help. It was in his angel nature, "Alright, Pj, I can help. I suggest you find Chris, and figure things out. Heaven might not notice your little detour last night if they think you're still hunting Chris. Come back here tomorrow at about seven. Dan will be on a date at that time, and we can talk as we invisibly trail behind him on that date.

"Thank you, Phil!" Pj replied with a smile, "Speaking of Dan...where is he?"

Phil sighed, "He's at his job. Humans have to work for money and things. It's very sad, I miss him while he's gone."

Pj tilted his head, "You miss him?"

Phil nodded sadly, "Yeah."

Pj grinned, "You're not too excited for his date then, huh?"

"Why would you think that?" Phil asked.

"Well, you're just going to watch him slowly leave you if you go. You'll see him fall in love on that date, probably, if you did your job good enough, and you'll see him start to forget you. If you're able to miss him now, it's going to be nothing compared to how much you'll miss him as you watch him slip away," Pj reasoned.

Phil frowned, "You're right."

Pj bit his lip, "Phil, you're not catching feelings for that human...are you?"

Phil's eyes widened, "No, of course not! I just think he is a very nice human."

Pj nodded though he didn't believe a word Phil said, "Good. You know what happens if you get too close."

Phil's jaw set, "I was reminded."

"Alright, I have to go...deal with a demon. I'll see you tomorrow, Phil."

"Wait!" Phil said, stopping Pj from teleporting away, "Meet me here at the same time instead. I don't think that I want to go to Dan's date after all," Phil said.

It will...hurt.

Pj nodded, "Okay, thank you."

"Oh, and one more thing!" Phil said.

Pj's eyebrows raised, "What?"

"Put on some clothes for wherever you were planning on going."

Pj looked down as if realizing he was naked for the first time, and blushed, "Oh...right."

And then he was gone, the teleportation breeze once again blowing back Phil's black hair, and his mind finding new boundaries to travel to.

Just then the front door opened, and Dan walked in with an apron tied around his waist and a bright smile, "Hey, Phil," he greeted.

Phil smiled, "Hello, Daniel."

"Did you get up to anything while I was gone?" Dan asks, raising his eyebrows.

Phil stared at the TV screen and shrugged, "Nothing much at all."

-

AN: Sorry, I took so long. I'm writing a book I've had planned for a really long time, so go check that out because I published it early. And I secretly work on four other stories in between updates.

Not to mention the ones I haven't made drafts yet, oh my god.