Lifeless (lashton: completed)

chapter twenty two.

The remainder of the flight was spent in silence. Ashton's stomach was in knots, he wanted to cry but was too exhausted and filled with overwhelming emotions. Luke was blank, as white as a ghost. Ashton wasn't sure what he was feeling, nor did he care at that matter. He wanted to land. He wanted to get away from the person that shattered his heart into unfixable pieces. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, and selfishly, he never wanted to see Luke Hemmings again. The flight dragged on until the tires finally met the runway once again. Ashton silently helped Luke back in his chair, refusing to make eye contact. They made their way to the front, dodging people left and right, with Luke slightly behind Ashton. "So? How was the flight lovelies?" Mrs. Hemmings smiled bright as she kissed both Ashton and Luke's cheeks. "Fine." mumbled Ashton. "Splendid mother." Luke forced a smile that hid layers of pain and heartache. "Well? Shall we go to dinner? I bet you both are starving!" She clapped as she studied Ashton's sunken face. "Love? What's wrong? Jet lagged, I suppose?" Ashton continued to walk, he didn't have a response. "Ashton? Aren't you staying for dinner?" "Let him go." Luke interrupted, trying his best to fight back tears. Immediately, Liz knew why he was leaving. Why Luke was so happy. It all made sense to her. She started sobbing and shouting into her hands. She was going to lose her son in the next twenty four hours.
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Ashton's P.O.V
I blew it. I fucking blew it. How could I pour my heart out to him, telling him my deepest, DARKEST secrets and he-he goes and ends the marriage along with his life? I knew I shouldn't of taken this job. It was only going to be heartache. I knew it from the start. God, how am I so bloody stupid? Fuck the money. I don't want money from the parents of my deceased fiancé. I don't want his tattered sweatshirt that faintly smells of his cologne, I don't want the constant reminder of him every time I see a bloody wheelchair, and frankly-...I don't want this ring.
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"I thought you changed his mind." Mrs. Hemmings spoke. Devastation wasn't a strong enough word to describe her tone of voice. "I tried, damnit, I tried everything I-"
"Save it. He's made up his mind." She weeped into her sleeve as Ashton became more empty than ever. As he took the first bus home, he felt his stomach turning. Everything around him went silent, everything around him became quiet. The only thing that mattered was him. His voice. His hair, his eyes, the way his dimples pop out when he smiles, his voice. The dull whir of his chair, the way he licks his lips after a meal, his voice.
"you're my everything."
"you're the reason i wake up in the morning."
his voice.
"you're so stupid."
"i love you ashton, i love you so much."
"let's be together fore-"
his voice.
"THATS ENOUGH!" ashton found himself sobbing into his rugged hands, tears were beginning to turn his jacket a dark grey. As soon as the brakes hit and the us came to a slow stop, he ran the whole way home. He didn't care if the thundering sky opened up and drenched him, he didn't care if a car hit him. All he wanted to do was disappear. He soon entered through the wooden door of the shack he calls a home. Painfully, he ran up the creaking stairs to his vacant room. Usually the scattered empty bottles and the stench of cigarettes and alcohol would bother him, but numbness was the only sensation he felt. He sat on the coverless twin bed and cried. His life was finally turning around, he finally found purpose. He weeped until there was no tears left, then resorted to staring tiredly at the chipped baby blue paint on his wall.
"Come. Watch this show with me."
"Does my hair look okay?"
"You sure are one hell of a man, Ashton Irwin."
"S-stop." He whispered as he revisited all the memories he made with his fiancé. He tugged at his hair, trying his hardest to get the voices to stop. Just when he thought all hope was lost, he received a text from Liz.
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"He wants you with him."
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A/N- hey guys! sorry it's been so so long! i know it's a little short but we're getting to the end of this book :( a few more chapters left for you all, thank you so much for all your support! S xx