Lifeless (lashton: completed)

chapter three.

TW/ MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDE.
"What about a lifeguard?" Tyler, the job centre employee cheerily shared. Ashton shook his head and tried to hold a smile. He thought to himself,
bathing suit = exposed cuts.
"Okay.... hmm.." Tyler continued to go through the list of opportunities for a 19 year old dropout. "Book store clerk?" Tyler leaned back in his chair out of satisfaction. "N-no...never liked reading!" Ashton let out a nervous laugh. He always needed extra help with reading. He was slow, the words always got jumbled and mixed up when he tried to read.
Tyler let out a sigh. "Ashton.. I'm running out of options." Anxiety started to fill the skinny boy. "P-please Tyler! There...there m-must be something!" Ashton started tapping his fingers on his thigh, he refused to go home if he didn't get employed.
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"How about... care taker for a disabled man?" Tyler furrowed his brows but clicked the link to find out more. "You mean like a fifty year old? N-no th-"
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"He's seventeen."
Ashton sat there in shock. Even though he never heard of this boy, he felt horrible for thinking his own life was shit. This mystery boy had his whole life ahead of him. Before the tears out of sympathy started coming, his head shot up. "W-what would I have to do?" Ashton sniffled quietly.
"It says here... you would have to feed, bathe and look after him. Occasionally give him his meds, and drive him to appointments. A-and damn, Ashton the pay is...the pay is amazing!" Tyler gasped and showed him the large sum of money he would get every week. Ashton's face lit up like a Christmas Tree, he couldn't stop smiling and repeating a single word. "YES! YES! OH, PLEASE! YES!" he cheered and hugged Tyler over the desk.
Tyler hugged the skinny boy back. He shook his head internally when he felt his ribs with his hands. After everything settled down, Tyler scribbled down the address. "There you go, Ashton! Interview is 11am sharp. Don't be late!" He patted him on the back and he was out the door faster than lightning. As tears of joy trickled down his cheeks, he pulled his last $5 bill. He was buying himself something nice to eat, to celebrate the new job.
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•
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"Deep breaths, deep breaths."
Liz wasn't home for the panic attack. She was out picking up more prescriptions for her broken son. Luke couldn't shake. He couldn't hold Calum for comfort. He had to sit in his chair, and close his eyes.
"Luke... it's okay. Please calm down." Calum took him into the kitchen for a glass of water. But he just made things worse. "Y-you know I HATE t-to be pushed so W-WHY WOULD YOU F-FUCKING DO IT." his eyes shot open with tears that could fill the ocean. He hated people pushing his chair, the only thing that he was capable of doing was using the little strength in his thumb and index finger to move the joystick and push himself. Calum knew very well never to push him.
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"Luke... Luke I'm sorry.." Cal looked down and held the glass of water in his hand. Luke let out a few more silent tears before attempting to pull himself together. It was his birthday after all. Feeling the cold liquid travel down his throat calmed him down, he drank out of a long straw in order to reach the water. Calum was dressing him in his pajamas when Liz returned home. She overheard Cal saying, "Penguin jammies or plaid?" and luke sighing. A hear ago, he laughed at that. Liz knew it, too. She laid the cake down on the kitchen table and quietly entered his room.
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Calum was taking his skinny legs and pulling them through the plaid pants. He never smiled when doing this, he knew how much luke absolutely hated being dressed. As he tucked him in, Liz walked over so luke could see her.
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"Hey birthday boy..." she weakly smiled and held his limp hand. "H-hi mummy..." Luke spoke, not even attempting to force a smile. "I got you a cake! Here..." Liz ran back into the kitchen and brought back an elegant white cake, with his name scribed in blue buttercream frosting across the surface.
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Luke swallowed hard, and recognized it. It was last years cake, his mum had forgotten. He closed his eyes immediately, he wasn't going to freak out again. Two times was enough, especially on his birthday. He had his favorite meal, spaghetti for dinner and he already felt it coming up. He bit his cheek and side-eyed Calum, a silent cry for help.
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"Aw, Mrs. H that's beautiful! I'll take a slice!" And she returned back to the kitchen. With that, Calum rushed over and wiped Luke's sticky tears. "I'm sorry Luke, I'm sorry." But all the sorry's in the world couldn't make Luke walk again. They couldn't make him happy again. He was so used to hearing that phrase. He heard it more than his own name. He looked up at Calum with the most tired eyes he has ever seen. He muttered words loud enough to sting Calum's ears.
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"Calum, when will I go to heaven?"