Lifeless (lashton: completed)

chapter nine.

As soon as Ashton placed the kiss on Luke's lips, he knew he messed up. Luke didn't like the unexpected, he always wanted to know what was next, what was planned, what was next. The accident wasn't planned, the accident was unexpected, ever since that awful day, Luke has changed his perspective on life. He no longer liked adventures, or anything unplanned. And Ashton very well a negative outcome would come of his selfish desires.
-
Before Ashton could speak, Luke started shaking and coughing violently. Ash threw Luke over the edge, and he hated himself for it. "Luke.... Luke I'm-im sorry, p-please...calm down..." Luke shot him an evil stare that pierced like daggers in Ashton's heart. With gritted teeth, he spoke, "Take. Me. Home. Now." Ashton didn't hesitate, he quickly released the emergency breaks and walked alongside the raged boy. He kept his head low, knowing how bad he fucked up. As soon as he was done assisting luke in getting back into the van, he remembered an old friend of his that helped him through times like these. Ashton made a silent promise that, even though it's been five days without seeing this friend, it was time for him to visit once more. He didn't care how much pain it inflicted on his already tattered wrists, he needed it, he needed it bad. He drove home filled with anxiety, planning his night. Mumbling, he decided the amount of scars to add to his collection. After quite a long time full of contemplating, he decided. Ten painful slashes, he deserved it. He hurt Luke, he made him uncomfortable, that's the last thing on Earth he wanted to do.
-
Mrs. Hemmings was jovial when Ashton pulled into the rubble driveway, she had no idea that the night turned into a shitstorm. As Liz dismissed Ashton for the night since they had family plans in store, he solemnly walked to the bus stop to go back to his mums house. Once he was there, he wish he was invisible. He saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway, and carefully opened the front door. "Mum?" he called out, cautiously walking across the floor. "Mum? Who's here?" He creeped upstairs and turned the knob to her bedroom. Abruptly entering, he gasped. He stood there in shock, he couldn't even find the strength to close his hanging jaw. It was his mother, sleeping with her Ex. The man that caused so much pain to both her and Ashton. It was his father.
-
Slamming the door, he ran down into the basement, into the rotting bathroom. He locked the door and slid down the cracked wall. No emotion could describe what he was feeling. Devastated was too weak of a word. Betrayed wasn't even close. He ripped open the medicine cabinet and frantically searched for his friend. Shaking hard, he found it underneath is depression medication. Sitting on the off white toilet, he started. He let out a scream of agony each time he added a line. He bit on his shirt to limit the noise he made, the last thing he wanted was to be beaten by his abusive father. Ten wasn't enough, he kept on going. Blood dripped onto the white shaggy rug. As the blade escaped his callused hands, he fell with it.
-
"Daddy..." Two year old Ashton sobbed with confusion. "Daddy...please don't touch me there! That's private! DADDY! PLEASE, S-S-"
"STOP." Ashton awoke from screaming. He relived the worst day of his life, he couldn't shake the image from his head. His shrink promised him if he stayed on the meds he would never have to relive those violent flashbacks of the night that changed everything. "He lied." Ashton whispered as he examined himself in the mirror. He glanced at his busted lip, probably from falling, he thought to himself. His eyes slowly refrained from looking at his face, and directed the attention to his wrist. It was worse than he remembered. Anxiously, he snatched a towel off the rusting holder. He applied immense pressure to the wound, praying he wouldn't be admitted again. Taking shallow but deep breaths, he heard a ding come from his pocket. He hesitantly pulled it out, knowing it was luke from the text tone. He faintly pressed the home button, waiting for the message to appear. It read, "Were you wearing plain or cherry Chapstick? I still taste it on my lips.... :)"
-
To this day, Ashton believes that text kept him alive.