If Zaspar Was Real

22: He Came Back and Broke Me

Zoe's POV

Today was a rather boring day in the apartment. I heated up a pizza and had that for lunch earlier. Currently, popcorn is being made in the microwave and I've just switched on Netflix. I've got to catch up on the new episodes of Teen Wolf. 

I was just about to sit down as Nala starts barking. I realised her bowl was empty. Well, my dog and Netflix? It'd be a good day. I placed her bowl on the couch and filled it up with some food. I was just about to get comfortable until the doorbell rings. Who could it be? Oh no, it must be Caspar. Oh gosh, I don't look my best right now. 

"In a minute!" I called out and rushed straight into my room. I brushed my hair and changed into nicer clothing. I took a last look at the mirror, then went to the door. Here goes nothing. I took a deep breath and opened the door. To my dismay, it was Alfie. 

"Alfie!" My jaw dropped. "What are you doing here?" 

"I came to talk." He steps in and my heart races. I wasn't ready for this to happen. He smiles when he sees Nala, but then he looks back at me. He sits down on the breakfast table, and I sit opposite him.

"So talk." I cross my arms, trying to seem as if I didn't care about him anymore.

"I miss you. The Gabi thing was all fake." I cringe when I hear her name. "I just couldn't accept the fact that you were leaving. And, and Zoe. I still love you." I look down. "I know you still love me too. You do, don't you?" I don't respond, I had no answer. "I want you back." He places his hand on mine and adrenaline rushes through me. "Zoe Sugg, will you be my girlfriend?" He smiles and I turn away, leaving him in a frown.

"I can't, sorry Alfie. I just, I just can't." I don't even dare to look him in the eye. "I'm dating Caspar." 

"You are?!" He raises his voice. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks, all his sweet-talk accent disappearing.

"What do you expect? You're my ex, why would you care?" I respond. I attempt to act casual by eating my popcorn and laying down on the couch.

"Zoe! I've been worried sick about you. And now you're saying this to me?" He scoffs.

"And by worried sick, do you mean kissing Gabi all over and posting them everywhere?" I taunt, attempting to stay calm.

"Oh no, you did not go there." He sits down beside me. "I love you, Zoe." He stares at me, but I ignore him. "Zoe, I love you!" He shouts, startling Nala and I. I know if I look at him, I'd just fall for his trap all over again. "Zoe, I love you. How many times do you want me to fucking say?!" He flips my popcorn bowl over and my eyes went wide open.

"Did you just swear at me?" I gasp.

"You bet I fucking did. You're always making this about you."

"No, I don't!" I exclaim.

"Oh no, oh no. You're not gonna play victim again." He shakes his head. "It's my turn to break your heart." He scoffs, pointing to my face.

"I don't care." I walk towards the kitchen.

"You do, you still love me." He grins.

"Not if you're behaving like a jerk." My heart starts racing as he follows me.

"Ugh, come on. You know you still love me."

"No!" I shout, getting really angry. He can't just barge into my apartment and force me to date him, while I'm dating someone else. And then, I talked without thinking. "I never did." He looks up.

"Don't lie." He scoffs. "Don't deny."

"I never did love you, Alfie!" I pushed him away as he kept coming closer. "I never did, and I never will." 

"So we're playing this game huh? Well, I never loved you either. You stupid bitch." He crosses his arms and smirks.

"I don't know why I even dated you in the first place!" I shouted.

"Well, I know why I did." He remarks but I've had enough.

"I don't care, get out."

"I fucking dated you because you were rich and popular!" He shouts, and that was when my heart broke. All this time? He stayed with me because I was rich? And popular? No, no this can't be. I cherished our time together. And he used me? Alfie used me. "You feel how hurt I was now? I've got all the subscribers I need now Zoella, I'll gladly get out." He sneers and walks out the door. I sink to the floor as Nala scurries and lays down on my lap.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door. He has the guts to actually come back? Who does he think he is?

"Fuck off, Alfie. Aren't you glad I'm like this?" I cry. But it wasn't Alfie. Instead, it was Louise.

"Hey." She says, coming in.

"Don't. Just, please. Don't."

"We can talk about this." She says as she places a fruit bowl on my table.

"I don't want to talk about anything. Get out."

"Zoe, I know how you feel."

"No, you don't! No one does. Get out, Louise." 

"I can help you."

"You can't. I don't need help. Just get out."

"Yes, I can. We can go to the m-"

"Fuck off, Louise!" I shout and ran into my room, slamming the door afterwards. I was so pissed, I couldn't control my anger. I wanted to punch every single person I see, even my best friend. I heard the door close afterwards so I went out. She was gone. Oh, what have I done? I've lost my best friend. I look towards the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy. My eye bags came down to my cheeks. I'm a mess. I've lost everything. From my ex-boyfriend to my best friend. What's going to be next? I can't do this anymore. 

✄ ✄  ✄

This is so intense, it took me quite a while to write as I changed my mind a lot. But also, I've not mastered writing yet, so I'm really sorry there's a lot of dialogue here. Well, I guess it's officially over for Zalfie. Or is it?  By the way, I'm sorry if some of you are a little bit bothered with the language. I tried my best not to put as much curse words as possible, but I really had to express their feelings.

[ by harper gray ]

[ updated : may 21st 2017 ]