before mimi

oh boy..

BEN POV

I woke up to violent heaving and an empty bed. The tv was on low and the sun was too bright for my eyes. Shielding them, i listened to Tinas gags and i knew she was miserable. Getting up to check on her i cracked the door slowly.

tears were flowing out of her eyes as she held her head. she sat over the toilet ready to let up her dinner from last night again and i didnt know what to do. The violent sounds rang through the bathroom again and this time i held her wild hair out of her face. she clutched her stomach and she looked like she was going to pass out. "i dont know whats wrong with me I havent eaten anything weird" she croaked in defeated. Scooping her up bridal style i carried her to the bed. "maybe it was bad cheese i used?" I suggested pulling back the covers. 

"i dont know...i just feel like shit"

"take a nap-i wont leave until you wakeup okay?"

she shook her head as her eyelids were slowly shutting. 

walking out of the bedroom i couldnt help but think  she was pregnant again. she hadnt got her period and although she brushed it off, i couldnt remember if she skipped a couple of months of her birth control. 

 id bring it up once she woke up from her nap. Talking to Eric last night made me realize that i was ready for a baby-a baby with her. But i needed to call big man about something this serious. 

i was almost certain she was pregnant. 

Plopping down on the couch i took a deep breath and dialed. Like always, on the second ring, dad picked up.

"what is it son? everything okay?" he asked concerned

"dad i think shes pregnant" i said without a hello.

there was a long silence on the phone. it was followed by a deep breath.

"well...do you want a baby right now?"

"i do. i really do dad but im pretty sure shes not about it right now."

"well son its her right you have to understand that"

"but its half of me. dont i get a say?" i said not understanding why he was on her side.

"no. you dont. because you arnt going to be carrying that child and watching them bend your body all out of shape. you arnt going to push them into this world or have them sucking your nipples off. its half of you son, i understand that but at the end of the day shes more effected by it than you are-thats why you have to let her make the decision"

a lone tear escaped my eye. i didnt want her to kill our baby. ive wanted to be a dad and when i met Tina, i knew exactly who i wanted to be the mother of my kids. but i couldnt force her to have my baby-i couldnt ever. 

"what should i do? i have a feeling she really is"

"just talk to her calmly...and try to make your case."

i knew he was right. i just didnt want to face it. My hand went to my hair like it always did when i couldnt decide on something. I took a deep breath. How the hell was I going to bring this up?

'hey babe i think your pregnant and you arnt killing this baby'

"Benjamin?" dad asked from the other line pulling me back.

"yea dad...thanks"

"just...dont use so much emotion. its going to be a lot for the both of you-you need each other"

TINA POV

when he walked out of the room i shut my eyes. i was pregnant. Once we got engaged and he moved here to DC, life got so hectic I just forgot to take it. i dont even remember what day it could have happened. I can still remember staring at the plus sign on the test. and to make everything solid-i took 4 different tests, all with the same four results.