before mimi

I dont know how to talk to you

BEN POV

I dont remember falling asleep last night. The last thing I remember was plowing into Tinas tight...I stopped mid thought feeling the emptiness of my bed. Propping myself up on my elbows a ball of gray sheets laid beside me. I was alone...she left. 

Ive never had a girl leave before. 

My mind was racing for God knows what. Picking my phone off the night stand, I scrolled through my phone trying to find her name. Ill text her and ask why she left...wait..what am I doing?

I realized I never got her number. How the hell would we fuck now on the regular? I would never be able to just call her up for no reason or to just see her face again. Did she not like me? Girls fucking loved me. 

My phone vibrated pulling my thoughts to a foreign number that wasn't saved in my phone. 

"hi its Tina ill call you when I need something. bye" 

is all it read. No emojis, no long massive text...just that one straight to the point sentence. I stared at my phone waiting for another text...with a longer explanation on why she left. I spent 5 minutes staring at the background of me and some of my bros when we pledged. When nothing came through I threw my phone. She was such a damn tease. I dont know why I agreed to this. 

Trying to shake my thoughts away from her I went to shower and get dressed for the day. We have date night later and Im taking Beck-which made Rachel so angry. I knew she would want to have sex and I honestly didnt want to  have sex with her anymore. Ive known Beck since freshman year-she was like my best friend. 

Once I got dressed I couldnt bring myself to do anything. I was so drained and tired-had a combined 3 hours of sleep the past three days. Sitting back on my unkept bed, I drifted back into a deep sleep.

"your pregnant?!  I asked her as she gave me the plastic stick. "yea....we are going to be parents!" she exclaimed clasping her small hands together.

''babe?! i...i cant believe this!" I said excitedly now engulfing her in my arms. her arms secured around my neck and I lifted her off the ground making her legs wrap around my waist. Pulling my head back to look her in the eyes i just took her in. "i love you..so much" I said with my heart rate speeding up. She chuckled a bit making her button nose wrinkle. "i love you too i guess" she said teasing me. 

I gave her a lingering kiss that was quickly heating up. She pushed away from me and motioned for me to put her down. Becoming confused she dashed down the hallway and slammed the door shut. You could hear her emptying her stomach violently followed by the toilet flush. 

I took time to look around me. It was a modern loft with huge windows that looked out over the city. The metal stairs were spiraling up to the bedroom, and a couple of pictures of...of us?

The door opening again brought my attention back go her walking out of the bathroom like nothing ever happened. 

"are you alright?" I asked following her into the kitchen. Without acknowledging me she stood on her tipy toes and tried to reach for the glass on the top shelf. After 4 tries of swatting and having her fingertips graze the glass, she retracted back to her regular height and huffed. Crossing her little arms she slowly turned around to me looking visibly upset. 

Walking over to her I reached above her retrieving the glass she so desperately wanted. Handing it to her she stared at it for a bit as if she was contemplating taking it from me. 

Filling it with water, I felt her hands wrap around me and her head resting on my back. "thank you" she muffled into my shirt. Shaking my head I handed her the glass and watched her down it like she was chugging a beer. I stared at the large rock her ring finger that was cradling the glass. When the hell did we get married?