Autumn

39: How they ended

Theodore grabbed the old basketball he found in the garage and pumped it with air. When he was just a small boy, his father had promised to build a hoop for him and gave him hope that they would play one-on-one every single day.

Of course, Theodore's father never went through with that promise. 

He never went through with anything.

Autumn's house happened to have a hoop from the previous owners so he found himself gravitating towards it. He dribbled the basketball along the driveway, his mind filled with thoughts. 

Today was the day Autumn was leaving. They still hadn't properly spoken since the night they had fought. A small part of Theodore wanted to stay locked up inside his room until Autumn left. If he didn't actually see her leave perhaps he could convince himself that she was still in the neighbouring house. But he forced himself out of bed and made his presence known...even if it was for incredibly petty reasons.

As Theodore threw the ball towards the hoop, he heard the front door open. 

"Are you sure you have everything?" he heard Autumn's father call.

Theodore watched as the ball pathetically hit the net before bouncing against the fence. It rolled back towards him. He kept his eyes on the ball as if it were the only thing in the world, but his ears listened out for Autumn's voice. He craved to hear it, even if it was just once more.

"Autumn, honey? Are you sure you have everything?"

"I--Uh, yes. Everything is in the car."

"I put a snack for you in the glovebox if you get hungry. Don't stop for burgers on the way home. That money I gave you was for gas if you need it." There was a soft sigh before he continued with, "There's an extra twenty in the centre console."

"I love you, Dad." 

Theodore turned his head and managed to catch a glimpse of Autumn and her father hugging. She lifted her head from his shoulder and her eyes found Theodore's. She smiled sadly. He turned his head and focused again on the basketball. The realities of her leaving made him deflate faster than a balloon at a birthday party. Sadness overwhelmed him, frightened him.

He turned to leave.

But when he turned around, Autumn was there and she was smiling. And for a second...it felt like everything would be okay.

He should have held on to that feeling a little longer.

"Want to go grab a burger?" Autumn asked.

"Don't you have to leave?"

"I still have some time. What do you say?"

He loved her. God, he loved her so much.

It made him feel different, it was strength in the disguise of something more sincere. But Theodore was taken aback by the strong sensation, and so he perceived it as weakness. He was terrified of getting hurt. He seemed so vulnerable. So, with a heavy heart, he built a wall around himself. It was built with bricks of stubbornness and bitterness, cemented with fear. He gathered every single horrible thought, whether it were true or not, and used it to cast a curse around the cage he had built around his heart.

"I think it'll be getting dark soon. You should probably start driving."

He turned and bounced the basketball on the spot, squaring his shoulders, attempting to appear indifferent.

"Theodore," she whispered.

She sounded so broken, so beyond repair that it completely destroyed him. Hearing her say his name like that made him feel like all the energy had been sucked from his soul. He had caused her sadness. He had caused her pain.