Queen

Fresh

The following morning was quiet. My fainting spell was due to the little panic attack I had. The workers spoke in hushed tones but I have excellent hearing. Camille had brought Aden back when it was time to feed and I watched over his sleeping form. There was a knock and then Jae entered.

"I'm sorry.I caused you to-"

"I'm fine. Don't apologize." I said softly.

Jae closed the door behind him and ventured closer to my bed. He was dressed in jeans and a simple polo. He placed his hands in his pockets as he walked over.

"I- uh- I've done some thinking, some proper thinking, and I've come to a decision."

I raised a brow at him in question. But sat up from where I was laying previously

"Which is?"

He sat beside on the edge of the bed.

"Let's call off the trial run."

"What?"

"I've thought about what you said last night and I realized I kept pushing you to agree when you weren't ready just yet. Perhaps if I had laid off for a bit then you'd be ready by now and it would have been a natural communion but- What I'm trying to say is that we should be on the same page, I shouldn't be flipping pages when you've hadn't finished reading yet, just because I am."

I was silent as I listen to him speak. "I never want to be compared to the men that hurt you. I know better so I should have done better. I-I would like to ask if you'd like if you'd give me another chance in a year's time but with no guarantee that anything should come of it. I'll continue visiting every weekend I have off excluding weeks or weekends where I have to do some Royal activities. I'll support you in everything you wish to do I just don't want to lose my chance to be with you forever. I know I said some truly horrible things yesterday and if I were you I'd hate me for that but I'm hoping that unlike myself, you'd find it possible to one day forgive me?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes "That's what I've been saying I've wanted for the longest time. Are you kidding me?" I huffed "We'll get married. I know us. You need me. And I like that you need me. I just wanted some time to not be attached to anyone and to do my thing." I said not looking at him "Thank you for realizing and stepping back. I just want to take sometime and work on myself. I can't be a wife to you nor can I be the mother I want to be for Aden if I'm constantly having nightmares and get triggered easily."

Jae nodded "I know. I know. I shouldn't have in a guilted you into agreeing to anything. I just hope I can get that date in a year's time. Oh I also want to find out who sent you that video"

I scoffed "It was probably that girl but obviously it didn't work how she wanted and instead had us come to an understanding. So it doesn't matter."

"But-"

"But nothing, move on."

We were silent for a while "What you said still really hurts me Jae. That wasn't fair of you to say all that. Of all the men who've spoken ill of me I never expected those words to come out of your mouth."

"I know."

I turned from him and snuggled close to my pillow silently.

I felt him rise from the bed and stand.

"I'm going to go no. I have class in the morning." He said softly

"Safe travels." I said not turning

"Thank you."

I peeked over my shoulder and watched as he kissed Adens forehead before walking out the door.