Adeyemis' story continues. She yearns for another, though she knows that chapter has closed. With a new life awaiting her, there couldn't possibly be any more secrets or drama, right?
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"Eeewww"I laughed with a bright smile on my face
Adens drool landed smack dab on my cheek as I held him above me.
"Ish okay mama loves her pookipoo so she'll take the icky drool.Yes she will." I cooed and Aden giggled at my funny faces.
I continued to entertain him for a while until I suddenly felt overwhelming fear consume me. I brought Aden to my chest and slammed my palm onto the button on the side of my side table. Immediately a maid came in.
"Take him." I gasped
She quickly swooped him away and I gripped the cloth above my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe and my heart was pounding so fast. My thoughts were racing and I felt like I was going to die of hyperventilation. I knew I wouldn't but i felt like I would. Shit shit shit. It was another panic attack. I started having panic attacks some time during my marriage with Ryan and they seemed to calm later in my pregnancy when I was alone. After the attack that caused me to faint I had gotten them again, though I had thought that they were close to being gone forever before that incident happened. When Jae left two months ago they not only continued but became more frequent. Last week I decided to speak to my therapist about it. We talked about some cognitive work I could do as well other things. I just wanted to feel better again for my son.
It as was Friday morning meaning Jae would be here soon to pick up Adeniji. I was shaking from the fear but I had nothing to be afraid of. The doorbell rang and I was triggered into a memory. When King DiFransisco of Italy tugged on the bell of my collar once it meant for me to suck him off, if he rang twice...I leaned over and emptied my stomach onto the hardwood floor. I was dizzy , nauseous and I still felt like I couldn't breathe properly. I'm gonna die covered in vomit. Tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't hear anything around me just my heartbeat. What abou Adeniji? Who will raise him properly? I don't want any other woman near him. I wheezed heavily as I hugged my knees to my chest, my cheeks wet from tears. I heard Jaes voice from down the hall and I swear my chest hurt since my heart was pounding so hard. He's going to see me and take Adenjiji away. He's going to take my son away from me. His voice filtered through as he passed my door and while i should feel relieved I figured he would stop in when he passed down the hall again. He didn't and about five minutes after he left I just began to calm down. I felt so exhausted after so I just laid on the bed. One of the maids,Leona knocked on the door after opening the door slightly. "Your highness?"
I wanted to respond but I couldn't. She hurried into the room shutting the door behind her and sat by my side. She had a cool damp towel and patted my forehead. And the back of my neck.
"Did he ask for me?" I croaked
"Non. He just wanted a specific outfit for the young prince." She said patting my head
"Ah." I said
"I don't know why you still pine over him." she tsked and I placed my head in her lap
